Dr. Raymond learns to Blog.

很幸福 by 洪瑞襄

2008-11-09T13:43:00.002Z

很幸福　點點滴滴的相處

很幸福　不會就這樣結束

人生路　許多苦　因為有你不孤獨

很幸福　一起期待的日出

很幸福　有你陪伴的寒暑

往事　再回顧　未來永不落幕

獻上我最真的祝福　展望前程長路

哪怕現實殘酷　別讓命運將你束縛

希望你展翅飛舞　往更遠的路途

在那回憶的深處　有著我們之間最真的祝福

Different

2008-10-15T14:26:00.005+01:00

Because we are different
Different individuals with different genetic makeups
With our own unique experiences in life
We are different
Therefore we have different needs in life
To keep ourselves alive
Not just alive, but to live happily and satisfyingly.
For each of us have different goals in life
And as we walk down this path
We stray apart from each other
Though we occasionally meet at crossroad junctions
We walk pass each other
Brushing pass each other's cold shoulder
Though deep down inside, the heart is warm
Yet the other person never realises
For different people live different lives and have different needs
May everyone find whatever they need in life
And cherish it for life, if they ever find it, that is.
One day, I will find it too!

Geeeez, it's bee months since my last post and i tot this blog was dead.

Just a little bit more

2008-06-18T13:37:00.002+01:00

Almost there, not quite
15 days to go
So long, so far
So close, so rush
Just a little bit more
Before it's all over

So tough, so rough
I'm exhausted
I'm burnt out
I can hardly stand
I've had enough

Just a little bit more
Almost there
Not yet, not quite
Just a little bit more
So just hang in there
Pray hard and work hard for now

Life is good

2008-05-17T09:40:00.004+01:00

Tagged #1

The rules:-
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules. Jac Kee
2. List eight (8) random facts about yourself.
3. Tag eight people at the end of this post and list their names.
4. Let them know they’ve been tagged by leaving them a comment on their blogs.

(i) If u can't find me anywhere in my house, perhaps try looking underneath the blanket or inside the closet (they r small, warm n comfy)

(ii) When I'm not doing too well in poker...I'll probably wear my japanese head band ( with "sure win" written on it)....n the nex thing u noe...i've probably lost all the money in the nex round

(iii) Cycling is good...if u r not in a rush...it gives me fresh air, exercise and a good view of the surroundings....n it helps me kill time when I'm bored

(iv) Still acts and behaves like a kid...is that young at heart or rather being immature?

(v) The azure blue sky makes my day....gloomy weather go away.....boooooo!!!!

(vi) I WAS a stalker. Visited her blog without fail EVERYTIME I'm online. Not as much anymore I suppose.

(vii) I WAS "allergic" to chocolate (how sad!!!!)....cos i get sore throat after eating em

(viii) If u r goin karaoke nex time, call me along too...cos I ain't half bad okay?( well depends on wat song i decide to sing too)

Tagged #2

Instructions: Remove 1 question from below, and add in your personal question to make it a total of 20 questions. Then tag 8 people in your links list at the end of the post. Notify them in their chat box that he/she has been tagged.

1. How many children do you want?
2 to 4. Balance gender (1 guy 1 girl or 2 guys 2 girls)

2. What do you want the most now?
A simple and happy life.

3. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Errrmmm, in reality I'd end up being a doctah....but would love to someday do non-medical stuff such as: photography, environmental or geographical related stuff.... though not possible hey

4. If you can have one more dream come true, what would it be?
To turn back time

5. What are you afraid to lose now?
Important things in my life

6. Do you believe in being in love forever?
Nothing is impossible, just need to have faith

7. If you meet someone you love, would you confess to him/her?
Depends on either one of these situations:
(i) If I receive sufficient +ve response/feedback
(ii) If situation is right, e.g. atmosphere
(iii) If the pain to keep it a secret has become too unbearable

8. What would you do when you're feeling down and depressed?
Watch Naruto eps 78 &79 or 1 Litre of tears (esp final eps the snowing part)
Listen to the songs on my "emo-list" in itunes
Talk to close frenz

9. What are the requirements that you wish from your other half?
Kind, sincere, caring and understanding. Trusting and supporting each other, especially in times of distress.

10. Which type of person do you hate the most?
Superficial and pretentious ppl

11. Do you cherish every single of your friendships?
Yes

12. Do you believe in God?
Sometimes

13. What do you think is the most important thing in your life?
Being alive and live life to the fullest

14. Do you find it necessary for you to have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
If we're meant to be together, someway somehow

15. What do you want your friends to be like?
Sincere and good hearted

16. What kind of friend do you hope to be in your friends' eyes?
Trustworthy, reliable and important

17. If you can have a change, which part of your character would you like to change?
To be optimistic and be the best of me

18. If you're feeling low one day, who will you go to?
My bed?SLEEP

19. Would you die in order to save the ones you love?
Yes

20. My Question: What keeps you motivated to be alive and to move on
Dreams and hope. For tomorrow will be a better day. Smile sunshine :)

Congratulations! You have been tagged with not one, but two taggies!

Damien
Kee Hong
Kok Foong
Michelle
MK
Patricia
Veron
Wei Lynn

Turn back the Pendulum

2008-05-11T13:21:00.001+01:00

What awaits us in the future is anybody's guess
All we can do is take baby steps
And hold our heads high no matter what life throws at us

洋葱--杨宗纬

2008-04-20T00:50:00.000+01:00

歌曲：洋葱歌手：杨宗纬专辑：鸽子
作词/作曲：阿信(五月天)

如果你眼神能够为我片刻的降临
如果你能听到心碎的声音
沉默的守护著你沉默的等奇迹
沉默的让自己像是空气

大家都吃著聊著笑著今晚多开心
最角落里的我笑得多合群
盘底的洋葱像我永远是调味品
偷偷的看著你偷偷的隐藏著自己

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意

听你说你和你的他们暧昧的空气
我和我的绝望装得很风趣
我就像一颗洋葱永远是配角戏
多希望能与你有一秒专属的剧情

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会发现你会讶异
你是我最压抑最深处的秘密

如果你愿意一层一层一层的剥开我的心
你会鼻酸你会流泪
只要你能听到我看到我的全心全意

If avoiding me is what you have chosen and decided to do, at the very least I think I deserve to know the reason behind it.

The Sky is NOT my Limit

2008-04-12T09:31:00.008+01:00

Year 1999
The pinnacle of my life,
The best of me.
And it all went down hill after that.
It wasn't all that bad,
But it ain't great either.

Lost hold of the principles that I once hold firm
Losing energy like a broken sand bag or a leaky water bottle.
When all positivism turned negative,
You know well that you are in trouble,
A trouble so hard to get out of, even with time.
Especially when the boat's constantly drifting off in the wrong direction.

Remember remember,
The principles that made you different
The principles that made the best of you.
The 3 main "hearts" that make u never give up
The "induced" interest that can make you "absorbant"
And the 1 thing that can maximize your potential limitlessly.

Remember remember,
The things that make you strong.
Remember remember
That this is not the end of the world
For I will climb up once again from this fall
And be the best that I can be.

One day I will.
Because I know I can.
Because I know who I am.
The sky is NOT my limit.

Rule the World

2008-04-10T15:39:00.003+01:00

by Take That

You light the skies, up above me
A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah
Don’t close your eyes
Don’t fade away, don’t fade away-

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world-
Yeah you and me we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

If walls break down, I will comfort you
If angels cry, oh I’ll be there for you
You’ve saved my soul
Don’t leave me now, don’t leave me now

Oh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world-

Ooooooooh

All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-

Ooooooooh

Yeah you and me we can ride on a star
If you stay with me girl
We can rule the world
Yeah you and me, we can light up the sky
If you stay by my side
We can rule the world

All the stars are coming out tonight (oooooooh)
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-

All the stars, are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-
All the stars, are coming out tonight
They’re lighting up the sky tonight
For you, for you-

Here With Me by Dido

2008-03-16T15:02:00.001Z

I didn't hear you leave
I wonder how am I still here
I don't want to move a thing
It might change my memory
Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until your resting here with me

I don't want to call my friends
They might wake me from this dream
And I can't leave this bed
Risk forgetting all that's been

Oh I am what I am
I'll do what I want
But I can't hide
I won't go
I won't sleep
I can't breathe
Until you're resting here with me
I won't leave
I can't hide
I cannot be
Until your resting here with me

Your Favourite Phrase

2008-03-09T13:10:00.002Z

By the time the mind is able to comprehend what has happened
The wounds of the heart are already too deep

期待你的爱

2008-02-24T06:32:00.003Z

By 林俊杰

My life 一直在等待
空荡的口袋
想在里面放一份爱
Why 总是被打败
真的好无奈
其实我实实在在
不管帅不帅
想要找回来自己的节拍
所以这一次
我要勇敢大声说出来

期待期待你发现我的爱
无所不在我自然而然的关怀
你的存在心灵感应的方向
我一眼就看出来
是因为爱

我猜你早已发现我的爱
绕几个弯越靠近越明白
不要走开
幸福的开始就是放手去爱

Memories of Japan 07/08 (KANSAI region)

2008-02-18T03:55:00.017Z

Lousy poser on his way to Japan
Fu Getsu restaurant: The waitress even cooks for u
Still at Fu Getsu: A cooked Okonomiyaki

Fugu, a kinda poisonous fish.One guide book says, let someone eat 1st n if they r still alive after 5 minutes then it's safe for u to eat it,lolz
Osaka night view: The Glico man!
That's how much I ate in a kaiten (rotating) sushi restaurant
Kobe: 1996 Earthquake ground zero
Yakitori shop: It's like eatin satay, but all's chicken, whichever part and whichever organ
My lunchie: Onigiri (smth like a riceball with some stuff inside)
Cleanse urself b4 go into the temple/shrine...and the water is drinkable too
1st time winning something from a UFO catcher, and suceeded with 1 attempt only
Kok Foong and Kim Siang singing k
Cute lerh, little jap girl in kimono and I obviously asked the mum for permission to take a photo with this lil kid larh
Dango, which usually comes in differnt colours, typically red,green and white
Not sure if this is a maiko or a geisha, but u can pay some money to get dressed up like this
Kok Foong prayin hard, ring the bell...gong gong gong so that the god can hear u!
Himeji Jo, one of the UNESCO heritage site

Memories of Japan 07/08 (KANTOU region)

2008-02-08T14:17:00.014Z

Shibuya's bustling nite life
Playin darts with some Melbournians
Rainbow bridge at Odaiba
Outdoor onsen at Odaiba
Fuji TV at Odaiba too
Another Odaiba....this time it's statue of liberty
Sushi burger from a fastfood shop
Asakusa: New year madness...so many ppl...took us an hour to get from the entrance to the temple
Still at Asakusa, at the entrance of the temple
Any body wana adopt these 2 lil kitties?
Rowing boat in the lake at Ueno koen

"JUNK" of the Orient, maybe?

2007-12-19T02:02:00.000Z

My hometown Penang, which was once known as the Pearl of the Orient, as of now looks really aweful. And when I went jogging, I almost PENGSAN (faint), so nauseous that i almost vomited.
Have a good look yourself.

This is Gurney Drive in the morning, and at the end there stands one of the most popular hang out places, Gurney plaza. But never mind that. Look at the sea & shores instead.

A closer View.....Zoomed in!

Perhaps it's true that the ice cap in arctic will all melt away within the next 50 years.
Perhaps it's true that the many "natural" disasters that occur are the consequences of developments.
But undoubtedly, mother earth is REALLY REALLY sick.

Perhaps I should have studied environmental science/engineering like I initially intended to.
And perhaps it's still not too late to make a difference.

No it's never too late, cos it's better late than never!

Change

2007-12-13T10:20:00.000Z

Be the change you want to see in the world

10 Reasons NOT to be back home

2007-12-09T12:23:00.000Z

Yes, I know it's just the 1st day BUT:

1) Allergy: already sneezing like hell, *Aichooooo*

2) I'm have to "babysit" my parents & listen to their 24/7 naggings.

3) Unsatisfactory showers (water pressure too low & can't find shampoo)

4) Internet too slowwwwww (56K dial-up)

5) It's HOT (but at least not so many flies lar)

6) A day w/out a car=a day as a bird in the cage

7) Many ppl not around or busy working lor

8) Freedom limitations, duh!

9) Can't find my stuff lerh! Dunno which corner of the room it's hiding in.....hmmmm

10) Haha mayb it's not that bad lar!

起飞心情

2007-12-08T09:13:00.000Z

不知曾几何时变得如此，
变得强悍，无可恐惧，
几乎像若无其事。

早已习惯，早已适应，
适应这种生活，这种旅程。

也许是飞得太多，经历了许多，
习惯了生活，那种到处旅行的生活，
那种四海为家的生活。

早已习惯，
习惯那种起飞心情，
那种瞬间的感觉。

从天往下观望，
城市里那灿烂的灯光，
多么迷人，多么美丽。

起飞心情，
多么短暂，
今天，就让我再飞一起吧！
让我飞回家吧！
世界各地都是我的家！
后会有期！

Farewell IH

2007-11-30T15:51:00.000Z

One last time,
the very last time.
And I mean it.
Really not coming back anymore.
This time for real.

It was the best times of my uni life,
at least thus far.
There were not regrets in coming here
I'm really glad, and really grateful.

I will miss you,
because you are my second home.
Thank you INTERNATIONAL HOUSE.
For the 4 semesters u gave me
The time, the frenships and bonds
the parties, the studies, and the very memories

Thank you International House
For everything.......I will remember you!

Notes:My last night in IH leh, this time for real, not stayin here anymore, unlike last year when I left, hehe...n oh...who took the video when I left?I want it leh?Was it Jo or CC or Eddie or someone else?...Anyway, thanx for teh memories ppl.Happy holidayz!

It's ok

2007-11-20T14:08:00.000Z

It's ok
It's ok to be who you are
To be who you want to be
And who you were meant to be.

It's ok to be yourself, & be alone by yourself
It's ok to be emo or even have an ego
It's ok show your weakness, and not just hide all your skeletons in the cupboard
It's ok
It's ok, for everyone is imperfect.

It's ok to have a messy room (0ccasionally)
It's ok to throw all your clothes under your bed
It's ok to sweep the dust n hide them under the carpet
It's ok
It's ok if you do it once in a while.

It's ok to be sacred of the dark, to be scared of your worst nightmares and fears.
It's ok to be scared, to be scared of insecurities and uncertainties that lie ahead.
It's ok, it's ok.

It's ok to do what you want & do what you feel like doing
It's ok to do what you think is right & just follow what your heart tells you to do
It's ok, it's ok.

It's ok to be me, to be you, to be we.
It's ok.
It's ok.
It's ok.

Road

2007-11-17T16:20:00.000Z

Life is like a road. It maybe straight or curved, joined or split. It may be a T-junction or a crossroad or perhaps a roundabout.

Different people, different thoughts, We make different decisions and take different paths in life. Though we share similarities but we all walk life differently, and have very different destinies.

The roads join and split, people come and go. We cannot pause nor turn back time. To turn back time, or to just hold the very moment you treasure most. Those wonderful moments you hold so dear, those sweet memories and unforgettable experiences.

You walk pass me, like a gust of wind, like the refreshing morning breeze. And it made me felt like eternity. Because you've touched my life and made me feel alive.

While at other times you don't see me or you're simply just ignoring me. You don't need me cos maybe life's already too much for you to be free.

We all walk different paths. We meet, we leave. What will happen from here on out? The roads either meet or split? This is our destiny. This life, this road, this endless destiny......

Aarrggghh...dunno why so hard to fall asleep....oh well watevaaa.....

Essence of success

2007-11-08T08:39:00.000Z

决心，恒心，用心。
加上一些自信心。
意志力，集中力，推动力。
再加上一点小运气，
成功便在即。

Don’t Lose Yourself

2007-11-07T10:01:00.000Z

More often than not,

We lose ourselves

Lost in heat of struggle

Lost in the survival of the fittest

Losing our grip which holds and defines who we truly are

We suffocate ourselves with more information from the books

We get so absorbed into the scientific basis of life

We get so dragged into heated discussions

We lose ourselves

We become less interested in Patient X

But become more interested in Disease Y instead

We turn the patient into facts in the books

Into objects rather than person

We ourselves become more like stones

More like those emotionless being

Like those heartless being, who glare coldly or at least superficially

Cos all we know is the science of medicine

But not the art of medicine

Don’t lose yourself

Don’t lose ourselves

I want to learn the art to heal and to comfort people

To make this world a better place

And not merely the science of fighting the disease

Because that would be just dead boring

And it would also make me lose myself

So how how tell me how?

How to not lose myself?

I don't expect u to understand me

2007-11-03T09:35:00.000Z

I don't expect u to understand me.
To understand what's going through my mind
How my heart feels
Or what difficulties I'm facing
Because sometimes even I myself find it perplexing.

I don't expect u to understand me.
But please don't make too many assumptions
Don't jump too fast into conclusion
And certainly don't judge a book by its cover

I don't expect u to understand me
But don't make things too hard for me
As if it's not difficult enough?
Difficult to breakthrough hardships
Solely with my own effort

I don't expect u to understand
I'd rather u smile n talk to me nicely
I'd rather u let me know wats goin through ur mind
Rather than taking wild guesses
I'd rather we can communicate better and understand each other better

I don't expect you to understand me
Bcos I'm really simple minded
Really simple minded
So please don't make things too hard for me
Harder than it already is

End of whining

Spoilt Brat

2007-11-03T04:18:00.000Z

You know you're a spoilt brat (even just little) when:

1)You're still living off ur parents financially though u already have the capacity to earn money

2)You get to study in uni's abroad n u dun even take it seriously, while some of ur frens have never even been in overseas ever b4.

3)You always yell at ur parents and other ppl as if they owe u smth.

4)U think u r the centre of attention n u deserve to get anythin u want in life, feeling as if everything should go ur way and evrythin is ur possession

5)U drive branded sports cars even though u din pay for it

6) You spend so much money buying cool electronic gadgets, ipods, DS, n change mobile phones every year.

7) U dunno how to cook, yet u dun even bother to learn how to cook so u end up always eating out every meal.

8) U hav a maid(s) who cleans ur house n room n other household chores. U've probably never cleaned the toilet nor wash ur own shoes b4.

9) Your parents always complain about ur behaviour (assuming if they are rational & reasonable ppl)

10) You've been to more countries than ur parents already have. Worse still u take 1st/business class all the time.

And lots more lots more. Can't think of anymore now, so feel free to add anything.
And No, the description above is not about me, although I admit I might have committed some to a certain extent.

Also, just to complain abt the stupid ppl in college that actually pulled off a stupid so called "radioactive" prank. How immature and irresponsible. But oh well, there are always ppl like that in the society, what to do?

Quiet Saturday Night

2007-10-27T15:21:00.000+01:00

Absolute silence
Pure serenity

Do nothing
Not studying

Go Chilling Chilling
On the quiet Saturday night

Go sip some coffee
Or eat Yumy yummy gelatis
Free book readings
or picture browsings
All at the sexy Lygon street

And occasionally
The games night
Train, scrabble, mahjong, bridge, CS...

Silence silence
Quiet Saturday night
so quite so nice
but at times so desolate

It's the quiet Saturday night
And NO
I don't want it to be over just yet
No I don't

换季 by 金莎

2007-10-24T10:52:00.000+01:00

是泪滴结束每段感情
要时间忘记想忘记
其实埋藏在心里
雨滴结束每个冬季
晒不干过去就面对你
喜怒哀乐的回忆
听天空晴朗开始好天气
别在忧郁让心情也天晴
失恋的人就换季脱下过期爱情
突醒的眼里看见发亮的自己哦~多美丽
受伤的人就换季春夏秋冬轮替
总有你的美景等待下一季下一次天晴

In this Life - by Delta Goodrem

2007-10-23T11:17:00.000+01:00

I was nurtured I was sheltered
I was curious and young
I was searching for that something
Trying to find it on the run
Oh and just when I stopped looking
I saw just how far I'd come
In this life
In this life

You give me love
You give me light
Show me everything
that's been happening
I've opened up my eyes
Following
Three steps fight an honest fight
Two hearts that can start a fire
One love is all I need
In this life

I have faltered I have stumbled
I have found my feet again
I've been angry I've been shaken
Found a new place to begin
My persistence to make a difference
Has led me safe into your hands
In this life
In this life

[ Chorus ]

I was put here for a reason
I was born into this world
And I'm living and I'm believing
I was meant to be your girl
In this life
In this life

[ Chorus ]

Notes:
1) Found the picture about "life" interesting...so just put it down, nothing related to Delta in particular

2)Also, was hoping I could change the word "girl" into "goal" instead since I'm a guy

Lil' Buddha is 21 yer old liao!

2007-10-20T16:20:00.000+01:00

A very happy 21st B'day to our"Little Buddha", Kee Hong.
As I warned u the night b4, be prepared to get smashed! See? I was right afterall, ain't I? Haha! Hope u din lose too much money in poker considering u'r so "high" n wasted.

Still, I can't believe that its already been 3 whole years n that u'll b leavin melb for good soon....heh...still remember meeting u for the very 1st time in Brunswick's K'MART ...n u were wearing a green soccer jersey (so strange...isn't liverpool's jersey supposed to be red?) ...gosh...time really flies eh? U looked so young n green back then.

Oh well, it's been awesome having u around....all the times where we played basketball together...those interesting private talks on different "countries" and of course... all those emo-talk at times of distress. For that, I thank you.

May u live long, live well and live happily ever after.
Take care......n dun eat too much BAKUTEH in Klang!!Or else u'll get outta shape.....ahahaha!!!!!!

Comin up: Interesting Facts of the dayz:

1st Fact of the day : Buddhas/Gods are allowed to drink alcohol (Beer + Tequila = Beeruila)

2nd Fact of the day: But they get drunk easily (con't from above)

3rd fact of the day: Men who can't eat sausages don't deserve to become president

4th Fact of the day: Girls should avoid taking photos while their mouth is stuffed with food cos it makes em look funny..lolz

5th fact of the day: Soccer players/atheletes can be good cooks (ermmm i think some of the bbq food was half cooked that night...oops!)

6th fact of the day: Try to take photos with ppl b4 they get too drunk n puke on u

1st ever H1

2007-09-26T15:03:00.000+01:00

Yes, as the title suggest, I just recently got my AMS (Advance Medical Science) result and it's my 1st ever H1 in my whole uni life thus far!!

The reason why I just gt my result was because the uni needed time to finalize my score cos my prof in uk did not submit my scores back. Also a large proportion of my marks were assessed from my research thesis, which is a 10,000 written report, and that is why they needed more time to mark a report as opposed to marking normal papers.

So after 3.5 years of slacking, this came as a real shock to me as I'm always a H3 student. My best ever was a H2B and that's it. Although this was one of the semesters that don't amount to anything to my final medical score (as in they don't add this to ur final medicine course score, the score u use when u apply for jobs and fellowships etc). But yea, as Sheanee said, a H1 is still a H1!

So yes, I'm indeed very elated as this provided a very much needed mid semester boost for my exhausted brain and gradual loss of motivation. Hope I can carry the momentum for the remaining weeks in the sem!

BTW, Ekiden comin up. Anyone up for a run?

REAL

2007-09-23T05:04:00.000+01:00

This is the tile of the manga/comic that I've been reading.It's a basketball manga by the same author who did SLAM DUNK, Inoue Takehiko.Unlike SLAM DUNK, this one has a more serious atmosphere, in that it focuses more on the character's emotional development and the realities of life, the hardships that people have to struggle through and persevere or give up.Afterall this is a wheelchair basketball manga, people with disability,pretty much like paralympics.

Here's one parts of the manga which I read and found inspiring:

"Have you ever been on a roller coaster, Togawa-kun?You're only riding on it a few minutes right? If you spent the entire ride thinking: Only a few minutes, a few seconds left, until this ride is over. The what was the point of riding it in the first place? Nobody knows why we are alive. We don't have the time to bother. Life is short, so make the most of it."

"The next dream...nothing goes perfectly for us. But being incomplete is what pushes us onward, to the next something. If we were ever perfectly satisfied, what meaning would the rest of our lives hold, right?"

"I guess having a goal makes you special. I haven't even found out what I want to do yet. But that's exactly why I've decided to live in the moment, this moment which you are ruining right now. Whether this job sucks for you or not, it doesn't change the fact that it's part of my path. I don't know how it's going to connect to my goal, but i know that it will, at some point."

Pink is the New Blue

2007-09-19T14:37:00.000+01:00

So why did I change the template to pink?
Cos pink is cooler than blue,duh!!

Still not happy?

Need I say more?

Pok Kai week

2007-09-19T14:08:00.001+01:00

Boy oh Boy,comes September is probably the poorest month...U get really broke especially with so many ppl's bday.Especially for last week.I was out practically almost every night.So much time spent,so much money spent and my wallets really dry now.Yes it was POK KAI week(no money lar).So yes,have to stay home to study everyday for this week,cos unfortunately unlike u guys out there, I dun hav mid sem break, damn it damn it.Ok I should stop swearing.So happy bday again to those bday guys and gals!One year older dee!

Happy 22nd bday to Tanee!!!My fellow Penangite! (Dinner at Chocolate Buddha-man so expensive)

Ok this is not a bday.Just went to watch phantom of the Opera,cost me about $72 but pretty good performance, well worth the money!

Happy 22nd to Grace too.Surprise Surprise Surprise again.How many times have we done it?

Hard Rock cafe:A combined bday dinner:Rahul Grace and Sheanee.Oh and just a reminder that there's all u can eat ribs every Thurs night for $36.Anybody want a challenge?Anytime mate!

That's it for this time,gotta study again.Sad to be a med student >_<

Into the Fire

2007-09-16T12:04:00.000+01:00

Into the Fire
by Thirteen Sense

(Grey's Anatomy Season 1 Eps 1)

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Explain, explain
As I turn I meet the power
This time, this time
Turning white and senses dying
Pull up, pull up
From one extreme to another

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And its waiting on the air

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Explain, explain
As I turn I meet the power
This time, this time
Turning white and senses dying
Pull up, pull up
From one extreme to another

From the summer to the spring
From the mountain to the air
From Samaritan to sin
And its waiting on the air

Now I'm low I'm looking out, I'm looking in
Way down, the lights are dimmer
Now I'm low I'm looking out, I'm looking in
Way down, the lights are dimmer

Ooooh

Come on, come on
Put your hands into the fire
Come on, come on

I'd do it differently

2007-09-07T18:00:00.000+01:00

If I get to do it again,
I'd do it differently.

This time for sure
I'd do it differently.

What it means to do medicine

2007-08-09T15:03:00.000+01:00

1^st of all, apologies for the lack of updates in my blog since life has been rather busy. So I’ve decided to give you a glimpse into a medical student’s life today.

Clinical school, which is the intimidating phase of medical life has just begun. Cos what you do from here onwards, you know very well is going to change your life forever. Everything starts right here, right now.

Waking up at 7 am in the morning (if not earlier) is not too bad a thing to do since it’s what our body meant to do anyway, but it’s certainly something that I’m not used too since I’ve been a nocturnal animal for ages. But guess what, doctors in the USA actually have to wake up and run ward rounds at around 6am. And in Harvard, I think they do it around 5am. Crazy huh? And guess what. They’ll wake the patients up too. Hah, what a pity. But that’s just how life works. Lots of on calls and overnight shifts. So I suppose waking up early as student is not that bad. But considering that sometimes we get posted to suburbs like Footscray, and sometimes in rural, you basically have to wake up even earlier to make up for the traveling time. Fortunately my buddy has a car, so it’s not as bad. But just imagine spending hours catching public transport. It’s just tiring.

I guess the good thing to be in clinicals. Why? Cos u’r finally free from those boring lectures. Those endless hours or torture when the lecturer is so crap that you dun understand a single shit he/she’s talking about. Those endless hours when you fall asleep in those comfy/crappy lecture theater seats, even if u drink coffee.

Seeing patient is different. You actually learn better, simply because you have something solid to see. So when you talk about a certain disease, the image of that patients pops up in ur mind and not page 112 on the textbook that talks about heart attack for instance. Like they say, “Patients are the best teachers.” Although I have to really emphasize that seeing patient can be controversial at times. Sometimes, some patients make you feel that you’ve learnt a lot out of them. When you c someone finally recovering and getting better, it is very satisfying indeed. But there will also be days when you’ll feel dejected especially when you see someone dying and worse still you lack the strength to do anything for them or if you made a mistake that compromised their condition. There are even times that you might even feel disgusted with some patients. I’m not trying to b rude here. But rather, I’m trying to explain to you that hospital is no fun place to be in. Surely seeing someone getting better is a very rewarding feeling, but a hospital is a place when people are ill, some terminally ill, so weak and feeble that they have reached their most vulnerable point, their very worse sight that you don’t usually see in public. That’s what you deal with in medicine. It may be gross sometimes spending time in a ward smelling pukes, examining someone’s pooh and urine. It’s unpleasant, but someone has to do the dirty job.

Also, medicine is a lot about responsibility. Patients trust you most of the time. Like they say in Grey’s Anatomy, “They made it hard on purpose; there are lives in our hands.” Gone were the days when the only reason you study is for exam. It’s still true to a certain extent as medics we still have exams but think about it. You gotta know your stuff if not you won’t be able to work properly. Like I said, there r lives in ur hands. There’s no space for you to fool around. I suppose that’s why people get so pumped up with clinicals. Afterall it’s the actual medicine we r seeing, it’s the actual surgery where you see people getting cut up, right here right now with our own bare eye. But having said that, sometimes its frustrating that there’s just so much to learn and that you can’t finish learning them. There’s just a lot of pressure, especially when you are unable to answer questions in the ward by the consultants in front of the patients. Everyone is staring at you, makes you feel weird and anxious. Get the wrong answer and that makes you feel dumb cos you suck!

Medicine is a very exhaustive process, not just the life-long learning part but also the hectic schedule. You pretty much compromise every other aspects of your life. And things would only go down hill once you start working. Trust me, it only gets worse, though the good news is you finally get paid. And like how our guest speaker during the IH winter dinner said, “Medical students and doctors have no life.”….Arrrg…damn….

Sometimes, I wonder if I’ve done the right course or not. I really don’t know. When I entered uni, my preferences were Medicine, Dentistry and Pharmacy. But if I get to choose again, maybe I’d opt for something more simple such as Pharm. Just because there’s less responsibility or legal liability, shorter course, more business based. Well at the very least, I don’t have to smell shit in the shop.

Life in medicine has just started and once you’re in it, you just have to keep walking keep walking no matter how hard it is. At least that was what I’ve promised myself deep inside.

Back for good

2007-07-13T14:45:00.000+01:00

Despite a lack of updates in the last few months...I'm barely able to write anything interesting on my blog though I have been staring at the com screen for the last 30 minutes.Guess I'll just say:

Finally I'm back in Melbourne and I'm glad to be here.

Curse you memory card

2007-05-30T23:24:00.000+01:00

Lost 5% and 80% of my Spain and Portugal photos.

Enough said

16 May 2007

2007-05-16T23:10:00.000+01:00

Been more than 2 weeks since I last blogged, too many things happened.As of now:

1)Happy 21st B'day to May Lin.....and belated bday's to Veron and isaac n who else..hmmm..

2)Finished my exam....only scrod 70++....underperformed.....geezz....

3)Submitted my final AMS report...but...I still need to work on some research stuff for publication purposes...just when i tot i'd hav a rest...damn.....i'v now got 3 publication materials put on queue....better hope to get it done b4 july b4 uni starts again damn

4)Went panballing last week....earned a nickname called "Rambo"...not bcos my skills were good...but bcos i killed a tough guy by committing suicide myself....

5) Goin to Spain-Portugal next week by myself...n i speak no spanish...hope things will go well....damn scary ler....all i know to say is "Hola Hola"

6)Goin back home...wats more important than that...for once in recent yers ...i finally felt homesick...hav i been suppresing my emotions or am I just an ignorant fool?

7)I dun wana start uni just yet.....startin uni in july means 20 wks of uni in a row without any break...i repeat No mid sem break at all!!!!And these are supposedly the hardest semesters in th whole medical course.....please time....go slow......

8)NBA playoffs: It'll be a miracle if Suns can beat Spurs tonite...I hope they do...plzzzz....and fcuk the spurs how can they play like that...n the league is not to fair with suspending Stoudamire and Diaw...wtf man!!!!

9)I just wana sleep..........

誕生日おめでとう

2007-04-29T21:19:00.000+01:00

It's been a while, a long while, so long, so long.......

I left home since high school days were over.Traveled to Melb reluctantly.There I started afresh,working hard,trying to achieve the goals of my life.A step where no mistkes are tolerable cos my future career path relies heavily on it.Too many study pressures, too many targets and plans.In the end, I made it to the gate of med after all.Question is, if that was the right choice,not that it matters anymore.If there was a better way to describe what I achieved in the year 2003,it'd be self-discovery and development for the betterment.

2004 was my 1st year in uni.My parents always said uni is the golden era of one's life.So I'd always tried to treasure it as much as possible.But looking forward to it doesn't necessarily mean it was great fun.In fact uni life can be very daunting.It's a transition to society.It's also one of the places where people are abit more unfriendly and individualistic than you'd hoped for. Interesting enough, you see different types and aspects of people, both good and bad.In summary,1st year started off strong,but ended in a crumble.

2005 saw great improvements.College life was fun.People were lot better than those u know in uni,in general.Found some really good mates,whom we still keep in touch.It was fun,though my grades drop!Haha!And things generally went smoother than previous years,though there are times when things got abit out of hand,but in the end,everything was fine,at least I accepted that it was fine.

All pumped up for 2006.I was so energetic in the 1st half of the year in college,trying to get more involved. Though I could not sustain such energy level throughout the sem. All things went down hill after my big B'day party.Maybe it's because I've tried to bury my emotions for far too long over the years. I was too tired. There are just things you can't ignore, even if you try to deny it.But I persevered through.

2nd half of 2006 marked a new beginning, at least I hoped for.It was supposedly my "honeymoon" year,my gap year,where I can do whatever I want in my life.Travel, basketball,Japanese class,working.I had the time of my life to do them.No exams, no assignments no nothing.Too free in fact.New life in London started off and proceeded decently.

2007 marks a different pace of life.It's like Phoenix suns' Run & Gun game,only that I can't make those baskets.Or to be more precise,I'm more like Dallas Mavs being run over by the versatile Golden state warriors.Ok cut the basketball analogies.Basically things changed too rapidly and there was just way too much work and not enough help.But somehow I survived though the harshest time of all.Good work.

It's all coming to an end. Tomorrow marks a different phase of my life. I silently promised myself. I wonder, would it be time to change again? Time to go uphill instead. Mentally I'm not as strong as before due to all the exhaustion,but hope things get better this time.

No more empty promises. No more unrealistic dreams. And no more turning back,regretting things of the past. It's sometimes easier said than done,but when you try doing it,obstacles go against your will. No one said it was gonna be easy, and certainly other people try equally hard if not harder than you. For life and human is all about th survival of the fittest.

I don't know what lies ahead.But hopefully from here on out,the drought would end,the winter would end,the stormy rain would cease. For I'm desperately looking for you, the spring of youth. May you find me too. Happy B'day!

2006 - 21st B'day - The Ex-404's. All in green and ready to go!!!

2005 - 20th B'day - In Crown buffet, lame poser with Arsenal cap
2005 - 2oth B'day - IH JCR, got "ON" by those lunatics
2004 - 19th B'day - After dinner at one of Chinatown's restaurant

2003 - 18th B'day - All you can eat steamboat buffet,it was really cheap back then

All these years weren't a waste. Happy hours and sad moments. I will remember you, for you will make me strong. To fearlessly march forward to eternity. For I can't turn back time not do I want to look back 20 years from now in regret. For life is too short. For I'm only human!

Break the cycle

2007-04-18T19:46:00.000+01:00

Too often we fall
Too often we crush into the wall

Too often in pain
Too often we complain

Too tired
Too frustarted
For it takes courage and energy to get back up again and face the world
For I feel intimidated and ashamed at how other will look at me

For everyone tries hard in life
Tries hard to break the vicious cycles in life
Tries hard to become the person we always wanted to be,borned to be and destined to be
How many times we fall
How many times we crawl
And how many times w bang into the wall

For life is not easy
For everyone tries hard
To be the very best they can be

Live in the moment
Never stop the momentum

Break the vicious cycle
And create a miracle

For at the moment u close ur eyes, all will be in histories pages
For a thousand years later, it wont matter anymore
For this very moment we know that we r alive
And that's the most important.

Here I am, still alive.

The city that loves the Queue

2007-04-15T22:09:00.000+01:00

If you can only go to one place in Europe, make it Paris!
The city that is lively and beautiful offers world class museums,shopping and cuisine.It is undeniably one of the best cities in Europe that I've been to.

I call it the city that loves the queue,simply bcos tourism is such a popular thing here and practically everywhere u go,u hav to queue up.U probably end up spending more time queuing than visiting inside the attraction itself,how troublesome!Just the wait to get up to Eifel tower takes 1.5-2 hours.And once u get up there, u c more queues....its insanity!!!!

The big pyramid and main entrance into the Louve, home to the Leonardo da Vinci's Mona Lisa
Notre Dame Cathedral in the centre of Paris,really huge and really crowded,but it's free!
Eifel tower sparkles with beauty every hour sharp, pretty much like in Crown where u get the fire show every hour....btw it's already 12 when I got down from the tower.
Arc de Triomphe: The biggest roundabout in the world.Also the monument used in the world cup 98 promotion if I remembered correctly.
Deliciously cooked French cuisine in a small lovely restaurant, the nearer one is lamb while the further one is caramel pork

Well,I can only upload limited number of pictures as my internet is really sluggish here.Though in addition to Paris, we also took metro and train outside.Visited the World cup stadium and the Stadium for th Paris Saint Germain (PSG) and I bought one of their T-shirts.Also paid a visit to Versailles, which is the most awesome chateau in France resided by the kings and also the place where the French revolution took place, if u still remember ur Sejarah lessons!

All in all, it's a nice place to visit...and I've actually started finalising plans my next trip, which is a 10 day trip to Spain-Portugal after I finish my AMS research year.I'm really looking forward to it especially Spain as I've heard so much about it, though it'll also be the 1st time for me to travel alone in a country where I don't speak the native language at all,gonna be tough.

Well, guess I should really get my mood back to continue and finish my research report!I'm so slack now!

Chelsea Chelsea

2007-04-07T10:10:00.000+01:00

So much for the inefficient and faulty public transport, I can't believe that I missed the kickoff on Wed nite.Yes, I finally managed to get tix for football.It was Chelsea vs Valencia,UEFA Quarter finals.I was abt half an hour late though i was supposed to come half an hour early,but luckily I arrived like 5 minutes b4 the 1st goal.Game ended up at 1-1 and both teams will head back to spain for the 2nd game.

Well,girls....if u ever wana c men singing....plz goto the football stadium.Honestly,its where u find most men singing,cheering for their team,haha so yea guys do sing,n they'r really in sync.
The atmosphere was good, i can understand wat Fang meant by its a life-changing experience(quoted from Rachel...cos i dun wana b sued for not referencing...geez been doin too much academic writing these days)....anyway, u'll get wat i mean when u r there...its a must to experience the whole game atmosphere....though i had to pay 54 pounds for it!And for ur info,they dun usually sell tix to general public,u hav to b a club member to hav access to ticket sales mostlo,so i was really lucky that i managed to get those tix.

Also,when the game ended,there's this massive crowd comin out from the stadium that usually b4 n after games,poice hav to do road blocks,so all the roads r closed n vehicles cant access.It's the padestrians world,also tells u how much ppl r crazy for this sport!

Anyway just some pix of the stadium n the game.

Stamford Bridge Stadium-Home for the Chelsea FC (I was in a rush,so just simply took it)

Crowd heating up,Valencia fans sit at top right end corners,under the big screen

Closer view of the goal area, it's Chelsea's attack once again...though I can't really c whois playing

Well,that's about it.Am still stuck at home writing up my report,am about 25% done only,hope I can push it up to 45% b4 I goto Paris nex week,so wish me luck!

Happy Easter everyone!

Thank You

2007-04-01T19:56:00.000+01:00

Thank you
For giving me life,for giving me love
Thank you
For the comfort and warmth
And the luxuries in life
Far too long, far too warm,until I took you for granted.

Thank you
For knowing me and growing up with me
Play with me, study with me
Thank you
For acknowledging me and seeing me differently
For trusting and supporting me, no matter how far away.

Thank you
For staying alive, especially at times of distress.
Thank you for believing on what you believe the most
Thank you
For never giving up and climb up after a fall
even when there was no one to pull you up.

Thank you...
Thank you......
Thank you.........

Right here, Right now

2007-03-25T22:50:00.000+01:00

Fell sick again on last wed but that didn't stop me from my Manchester trip.

Manchester is a nice place,I suppose calling it the "Melbourne of UK" is not an overstatement.
Thought it's just like another city,trams,shopping malls.Good thing about it is that it offers gourmet food at a more affordable price by UK standard.Went Yum Cha for 3 ppl, only cost us 17 pounds altogether,whereas in London,I had to pay 17 pounds per head the other day. In short,food here is good n cheap.Here are some photos.

Salford Quay

Old Trafford Stadium- Home of the Manchester United
MU's newly signed player-not too bad huh

It actually took me a while to finally decide to buy that jersey cos preferably I'd want an Arsenal one,but oh well since I'm already at the MU store, I tot I might as well buy it right since they hav exactly wat I wanted except for the logo,all the other things like colors names etc fits my needs.Like in one of Cemoron Diaz's film, "there's no Mr Right,but there's a Mr Right now...perhaps one day Mr right now can become Mr Right."

Well I suppose everyone understands that we need to live in the moment.Dwelling too much on the past and thinkin too much abt the future sure isnt gona help.And certainly, indecisiveness/hesitation and procrastination is a definite NONO in the present.That's why I decided to buy the jersey 1st and think later though it cost me 55 pounds to get all the jersey,numbers.logo and names printed but i guess it's quite satisfying.

Anyway like KH said,a good blogger keeps his blog short so I'll stop right here,right now!

60 Days and countingdown

2007-03-19T18:43:00.000Z

60 Days...approximately 2 months...b4 it all ends...hopefully....

19 weeks per sem ain't fun at all

attending wards and clinics from 8am till 7pm with breaks in between,still.....

9000 thesis with limited time left

reading 60 journal articles overloads u with repetitive info

6 hour exam that I know naught

workin in office is boring

staring at the com's screen all day makes me dizzy

workin on things that u arent being assessed for, it's called duty

60 days left
7 for travel
a few for slacking
a few for wasting
a few for actual studying
and the lot for work work work

all work n no play makes raymond a dull boy
half work n half play makes raymond a tired boy
no work n all play makes raymond a holiday boy

I need more time!!!!

Finally an update

2007-03-07T22:56:00.000Z

So much for slacking off last semesters, now is the time to pay the price.

Telling people that you've traveled 7 countries in 7 months is cool, but it is so uncool when u fall sick at the end of the day,cumulatively getting 4 cold/flu in the last 5 months.That surely isn't fun.

More inconceivably, having your work load doubling in every single aspect, be it clinical work,computer work,paper work, writing etc. things are just all over the place, especially for someone who hasn't been working so hard for the last few months...sudden increase in stress hormone might just tip off the balance of ones health, causing a myriad gazillion problems...dun even wana go to deep with that......btw I'm currently slacking off to write a post on my blog just because I'm too lazy to work now......

Well,crack the depressing part.Really looking forward to the upcoming 3 months I have left in UK.Frankly, I haven't been to a freakin soccer match!!!!!This is bloody annoying!!!!Nor do I hav the chance of watchin Wimbledon since I'll already be in Melb by then.Instead, I'm heading to Bermingham this weekend to be spectator in the semis and finals for the All-England Badminton competition with a group of Msians from my uni.Guess we're gona shout out loud MALAYSIA BOLEH!!!!!!!!!!!!Well,provided they advance to those rounds though.....

And at the end of the month,goin to Manchester but NOT to watch an MU watch...how disappointing....prob is they dun sell most of their season tickets to the general public and u gota b some silver member or smth to be able to purchase most of the match tix....seriously sux man!
But I guess Manchester would be fine...just chilling out with close frens and talking trash is good enuf for me....just the right timing to relieve my accumulated stress....bsides i manged to get a freakin cheap return bus ticket form megabus.com for only 2.50 pounds,freakin dirt cheap!

I've also bought Eurostar tix to Paris for Easter break and hopefully that'd b fun.Though the hotel that I booked (NB aint not backpackers around paris,and for some hotel u need to pay 2.50 euro for a farkin shower)is extremely central....they say that its in a Red Light District....so....hohoho wats gonna happen?Would be intersting ler....jkjk....but yea...paris would b an awesome destination....disneyland,the louve,eifel tower....n the list goes on.............

And my last eurotrip would probably happen after i finish my research n b4 goin back to msia.Have already bought my flight tix for my 10 day Espanio-portugal tripo.....apparently I heard that in summer u'll c lotsa hot spanish chics in short skirts and slim legs strolling along the street...but hmmm i might b thinking too much of eye candy lately....but anyway 4got to tell u guys after i came back from Scandinavia....seriously i think scandi gals r hot,slim,blonde and beautiful....a gazillion times better than wat i c everyday in this small little island in europe.....

And oh,this month I'm also gona go to a reality show!!!hhaha no i am just a spectator..thats all...but would b fun if u do c my face appearing on bbc...lolz..i hope....

Well,nothing much to say really,apart from the many many many things that are expected to happen soon.....but yea sometimes its just freeakin tiring after work and study....n the lack of time...n guess wat ...i'm already staring to do countdown on the days left....haha...double digit left...so excited ...cant waait to get home and to go back to aus......meh...am falling asleep now....gota go guys....

P.S. Does anyone know alot about PDA/palm...please giv me some advice/recommendation on it or maybe even some useful websites.....newest model coming soon etc....i prefer a light-weight n smaller one btw

One step at a time

2007-02-14T23:57:00.000Z

One step at a time
Slowly but steadily

One step a time
You'll be closer to your goal

Don't be too greedy
Don't be too hasty

For you will learn to crawl,to walk,to run and to fly
One by one!

Don't be overwhelmed
And don't feel compelled

One step at a time,
Slowly but surely

Forward we go
To a place called home

Little by little
We can build a miracle

One step at a time
We are closer to our goal!

Feels like Forever

2006-12-07T23:08:00.001Z

Cough Cough....still haven't fully recovered from my flu yet...and there's less than 2 weeks more to go before I head off to Scandinavia for my winter trip.It's already snowing there,so it'd be freaking cold when I get there.

People ask me,why u'd go there when its so cold.Well,the reason I gave them was that I wanted to have a white Christmas.To witness the mighty Fjords covered with snow,the phenoenal Aurora Borealis, visit the Ice hotel,being NAKED in a public pool and many more excitements that awaits!Wahah, can't wait to get there.Well,that's if all go according to planning,fingers crossed.

Oh and for u guys who dunno wat Aurora Borealis is,have a look:

This semester has been long and it's not finished yet!!Man,how many weeks has it been since I left Melbourne??Though there's no exam this semester and I kinda can "ponteng" occasionally to go for trips or just simply resting at home, this semester feels like forever.......From Early July till now,man this is surely the unbeatable longest semester ever.

I really feel tired all this while.Life has not been that enjoyable after I turned 21st,though I was hoping that it'd be the time of my life,but everything just seems to be going down hill.Was I expecting too much or was I simply overdepressed?I really dunno.At times I feel good and I was the one encouraging people.But at times I just feel like shitzz.I guess it's not fun when u come to a place not knowing enuf ppl or not knowing ppl well enuf.And coming to a place where everything is so unfamiliar,it sure feels weird but then slowly u break down the barriers and that's about time u leave this country.That's the feeling I get.There are too many things to do here in London cos its the capital of a nation, and the gateway to Europe.There should be alot of fun things to do.But I guess the saddest part about this is there's no one here for me to share those great things with.Somehow,even if I' doing something interesting, I don't enjoy them anymore.It feels more like I'm doing it for the sake of doing it.Guh...how boring......zzzzzzz

Gotta rest gotta recover,that's what I told myself.Cos if I dun recover by next year...I'm gona screw up in clinical school and that's surely gonna destroy my medical career.So by all means I need to recover for sure this time.

Motivation motivation....something which I possessed in the past is now no longer with me.Been desperately trying to find it but in vain.Lady Luck has also Abandoned me along with many others...this is really going no where.

Then was watching J-drama the other day."1 Litre of Tears"

Pretty huh?Well it's a show after all.

There are some similarities to "A Walk to Remember" but alot different.It's an actual story of a girl who has a severe neurological disorder at the Best time of her Life, High School.A time when one shines radiantly, illuminating their light , shining their presence to the people surrounding them.Undoubtedly the pinnacle of ones life.

I didn't really cry for the show juz bcos I'm a medic and I'm kinda used to this sorta stuff.But if u think it from ur own perspective,it'll b different.Come on,I'm even complaining like an uncle even if I'm just coughing or getting minor injuries from a game or simply getting frustrated or depressed over small failures in life.

I guess I really deserve to continue getting those failures with my current attitude.I don't know how to appreciate simple stuffs.Being alive is perhaps the most wonderful thing for a human.Why are we so greedy and force to get more out of life.We should take things step by step.Why do always yearn for smth more and not appreciating things that have been lost?Even simple things like being able to run...u wont realize thats a precious thing until u injure urself and can't run anymore.Isn't that right?

I'm not sure how my future lies,but who I am today is merely what I've done prior this,and no more than that.You are your lifes own architect,thats what one of my fren believed.

As for Lady luck...Being Lucky also means that being able to create that luck,that oppurtunity for urself....that's called truly lucky.

Been trying to get a grip of myself once again and for eternity.I hope one day I can find the self that I've been looking so hard for.

I guess it's ok to fall as long as I climb back again,afterall I still have the ability and strength to do that.

Right now,the only thing to do is to start...to start appreciating little things in life that I have...start trying abit harder in whatever I do without rushing for results,taking things step by step...start keeping my head up and walk forward instead of looking n the ground.

I am but only human.That's all I am, and that's all I'll be,at least for this life.

May there be a day where the sun shines brightly in the azure blue sky.May there be a day when everyone finds their happiness.Because only darkness can show us a stronger light and we sunlight is always at its best after a rain.Just like after winter,there's Spring!

P.S.

I'd like to apologize for misusing my blog all this while to vent my angers and frustrations. I'd also like to thank those who have given me words of wisdoms and courage all this while.May the misery be buried deep in the ground and never surface again.I'll be on holiday soon, so this blog will go into Deep sleep mode until "Spring " comes!Wish u a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!

Weakling

2006-11-26T15:20:00.000Z

"When a weakling enters an enemy's territory,it's called suicide"(Urahara Kisuke)

Indeed that is the reality of this world,where it's suited for the survival of the fittest and only the strongest and adaptable ones will survive.The winners stay and the losers go.If u r weak,u'll get crushed into pieces, as simple as that.

After 1 semester of constant basketball work out, I though I'd have improved,even the slightest bit,which I honestly have,but it simply wasn't enuf.I was the weakest player on court.Got outrebounded a dozen times by a girl, unable to keep up with the offensive player,unable to play like a team with other team members,can't dribble well enuf,poor passes and receives,stagnant ball movements,poor court vision and many things else.

I got injured too(Well I should have expected that while I start playing right?It's a physical game afterall)I got hit on my head twice,1 of which almost resulted in me fainting.Bit my mouth once,got hit on my previously injured shin again,and last but not least,my lower back's injured too.Dunno how, but I can't even bend my body,I can't even wear trousers while standing.This is really shit!

Perhaps I should really switch games soon.But I really dunno whether it's badminton or tennis or squash.Maybe it doesn't matter at all cos it's true that I have no talent in sports.

Life is unfair sometimes cos u lack the strength of doing smth.But it's even more unfair if u have the will to b determined to overcome that barrier yet things like injury and pain,things which r completely out of ur control comes and haunt u n ripps u off everything which u acquired through hard work,stoppig ur progress and utterly destroys ur hopes.I really dun like u,if u r the one doing that to me.

N stupid internet,so slow!!!

NARUTO fillers ending in Feb 2007

2006-11-23T20:28:00.000Z

It's true...it better be...unless Kishimoto and the manga is fake...but here it is

There it is,well at least according to the information published along with the newest Naruto Manga chapter in Shonen Jump, the long awiated Naruto Part 2 would commence it February 2007 which means no more fillers!Also, the new PS2 Naruto game is based on Naruto Part2 with anime-like animation,which will be released in Spring 2007(North Hemisphere),further solidifying the the anime release date.Finally,there'll be the 4th Naruto Movie entitled "Naruto: Hurricane Chronicles" which is due for release in Summer 2007.

So yea,that's all for now,and btw,I'm so proud of myself for being 0.5cm taller than post-timeskip Naruto,lolz,pretty lame huh!

Anyways, Ja-ne-ttebayo mina-san!

The Shortest Post

2006-11-21T09:32:00.000Z

The Best things in life are NOT free!

Be Inspired

2006-10-26T11:59:00.000+01:00

Be Inspired

The World on Fire (by Sarah McLachlan)

Hearts are worn in these dark ages
You're not alone in this story's pages
Night has fallen amongst the living and the dying
And I try to hold it in, yeah I try to hold it in

[Chorus]
The world's on fire and
It's more than I can handle
I dive into the water
(I try to pull my ship)
I try to bring more
More than I can handle
(Bring it to the table)
Bring what I am able

I watch the heavens and I find a calling
Something I can do to change this moment
Stay close to me while the sky is falling
Don't wanna be left alone, don't wanna be alone

[Chorus]

Hearts break, hearts mend
Love still hurts
Visions clash, planes crash
Still there's talk of
Saving souls, still the cold
Is closing in on us

We part the veil on Archille's sun
Stray from the straight line on this short run
The more we take, the less we become
A fortune of one that means less for some

End of Lyrics



A world that we live in today, plagued with problems.
Humanity is losing its faith. People are suffering,rich or poor.
You see people die and you see people cry. As if it's not
enough. Wars and terror attacks are fearsome and so is
global warming & ozone dpletion. As if it's not enough.
Disasters strike. Hurricane,tsunaami,droughts,floods &
seasonal abnormaility is overwhelming the globe as frequent
as it gets. The earth is dying, the world is crying.Though for
different reasons.

We live in a world of consquences. For what we or our
ancestors do will affect the future generation. What
little can we do to make this world a better place and for
 whats sake?For there will always be people destroying it.
Disrupting peace or causing suffering the world,
intentionally or unintentionally. Also, they'll always be
 unappreciative people. So for what sake and for who's sake.

The world is on fire,it is in dire, partly due to human desire.

The earth is slowly dying,and we hear people crying.

And here we see some people being saviours and yet we
also see people being the culprits.

Humanity has lost faith and just how strong is our power
to negate the negative energy?

We can but do only what we are capable of.Whatever it
is.That's about it.


The earth is "alive", and so are its inhabitants.So be a bit
more responsible as much as possible. That at least is
what an adult is supposed to do, and what children should
learn to do, from my point of view.


Ok,ppl.I dun really know how to upload videos on my blog
but maybe you can goto www.youtube.com and search for
the songs that posted up.If not visit http://www.worldonfire.ca/

And finally,thanks to Jeannie to put that up on MSN.I personally
was very inspired.Alternatively, you can aslo go watch the movie
"An Inconvenient Turth".


"Little by little, you can make a miracle" (Raymond Loh 2005)

To those having exams...and some graduating...

2006-10-23T12:18:00.000+01:00

It's the time of the year again when people start getting anxious about exams and how they would cope with it.

With time winding down and work piling up throughout the semester,u start seeing ppl workin hard like little ants,burning midnite oil.It's a time when people stop having fun such as playin games etc(well maybe some of you still do).It's a time when people resort to caffeine.It's a time where u start seeing how each person is actually capable of performing regardless of what extent it is.It's a time when you see what it means to b a student and what uni life is all about.Play play play and squeeze 1 semesters worth of info into 1-2 weeks time.SWOT Vac either becomes ur saviour or ur enemy(true bcos if u hav finished studying u dun wan the time to torture u to study more or even just to wait anxiously cos exam is stressful afterall).

But for what its worth, it's worth all the while.You work hard u get paid back.U laze around u fail thats all.It's not like in high school.Uni means serious,u develop urself prefesionally n personally.Knowledge counts as one,but beign able to meet deadlines and handling stress is also essential when u start working.And for those doing things like med,what u know or not know will kill or save lives.Life is made difficult for us on purpose not just bcos the best things in life dun come free but bcos of the responsibility that is being carried,be it a doctor,an engineer,a pilot or even a teacher.It's a responsibility of an adult.

I hope this year has been a decent year for most people although some of my frens n myself hav been having ups and downs throughout this yer but is an opportunity for growth.We learn from our experience don't we?

One of my fren called me the "examless guy" so i'm not gona say much to provoke or annoy anyone.But being examless and relaxed doesnt mean i'm not doing other things.Currently, to be able to play basketball competitively/socially and properly learning/mastering japanese has become the core of my life while I'm not so busy with my research work yet.It'll be a different yet irrelevant experience but it will help me grow in another unique way.It's somethign that I ahvent felt since high school or primary school perhaps,like when u r taugh to leanr ABC again...lolz

Anyway,back to the topic,after exams,u know u'll b rewarded with the long awaited holidays,the time of ur life, to do watever u want,4 u know it, it'll b right in front of u in no time.I personally like to do countdowns.....so...how many days left towards the end of torture?

Lastly,just wana wish u guys who r gona hav exams soon.Good luck and all the best.So long as u know u've tried ur best,thats enough.

"All you need to decide is what to do with the time that is given to you"(Lord of the Rings,The Return of the King)

And for those graduating soon,may u b blessed with a wonderful career and future. Opportunities await u. May we meet again in the near or distant future or maybe never ever again.Take care and goodbye!

Welcome to the Real World-Part 2: Unhealthy diets....an epidimic

2006-10-11T20:54:00.000+01:00

Decided to change the title after posting it,adding it to one of my serieses.

It's really hard to find the right time to write post these days since I joined the basketball club...apart from my twice weekly trainings, I do my own practice,long or short,but almost every single day...plus my internet has been freakin slow lately....

Today I was just too lazy to cook so i decided to goto the kebab shop juz to get more high protein meal as usual to build up muscles after hours long of practice.But havin said that,there's only one thing I don't like about the kebab shop, which is the oiliness of the food....so much oil that i hav to throw my pita bread away cos its all soaked with oil but there's juz so much meat that my mouth got too tired from just munching meat.

Ppl who know me well would realised that I'm a diet freak...one day I'll hav this no food after 9pm rule..no drinks/fluids after 10pm rule and many more crazy stuff that ppl juz cant comprehend.And lately, my high protein diet and low fat diet to help my muscle developments and grow taller if possible?Sounds impossible but I think I just grew 2mm in the last few weeks....sound pathetic heh!

Anyways, to cope with my diet I started cooking proper food again just to live a healthy lifestyle eating yoghurts etc....n I've been spening like 5 pounds per meal on average...which is ridiculous cos its more expensive than eating out.A McD set meal would cost 3 pound 20p.....a KFC fully loaded meal is 4 pounds....doner kebab...2.80...quite cheap n lotsa meat...n many more....the reason why I spent so much cos my fridge is always loaded with organic food...healthy lifestyle I suppose..or at least hope.

But what i wana say here is that there are so many choices of food outlet chains and stores which sell reasonaly cheap food(by Uk standard)but they r mostly unhealthy.Food these days emphasise on high carbo, high fat,high salt....ppl know its not good but ppl buy it cos its convenient...or rather its cheap,its tasty(salty)....n ppl wana save trouble from washin dishes,cleaning up or they r simply too busy etc etc....thats just how much our society has changed.

Where were the days when mummy cooks porridge?(btw thats hig carbo,thats why asians r shorter)...the days where ppl dine properly with family....where were the days when ppl walk from town to town(abut unrealistic these days)...do u actually c ppl goin to the gym?is there even a need to even go jogging?NO...ppl simply hav moved around enough...done enuf hard labour ....they dun need to pay 60 pounds a month to go to the gym.Our society has changed.

If there's a day when I getrich enough to start a business,I'd probably start a food chain store...similar to Mc'D...but actually more like Subway...but with different emphasis...better if possbile....and to educate the ppl about the health and the kind of food they should eat....a place that not only caters for ppl's convenience but also their health....and hopefully with mass production....ppl dun hav to pay 5 pounds like I used to(but living standard might go up anyways say 20 yers later,lolz)....a place where teenagers can find the diet to aid their growth and mayb to reduce acne prob, a place where the middle age can b rest assured to eat without fearing hypertension,heart disease or high choesterol....a place where the ppl can still lose weight but still get to eat decent fulfilling meals....a place that promotes a healthy atmosphere
at an affordable price...this is what I wish for if i ever have the ability and money to do it in the future!

It's really sad to see ppl taking pills just to lower their colesterol level(e.g. statins,fibrates) or blood pressure(B-blockers,ACE inhibitors etc)....or ppl with diabetes....still drinking litres of juice every day(wtf??) but thats just how the world is...ppl r ignorant unless u tell them that they need to do the right thing...n even having said that...its not easy to change ones habit so easily....the population is getting bigger....with more food shortage worldwide....more obesity epidemic in the developed countries,more starvation in the 3rd world...more sick ppl....more deaths but even more being born at the same time.

The world is changing...more than ever...for better or for worse...u know it urself...only time can tell and PROVE!

Walk...stop...or walk...

2006-10-03T22:00:00.000+01:00

Walk...stop...or walk...

I once saw a title of a graduation book with a title similar to this...it made me think back then...but now...I think I am starting to understand it a bit more...

Dun worry...this time I'm not whining...I'm just expressing my opinions...

Life is a cycle...full of repetitions...over and over again...u hardly know whether u r doing the right thing or not...sometimes u r...n u continue with similar intensity...n one day u realise u r numb....u r used to it...that's when u realised that u havent been moving afterall...u were merely walking in circles... u stopped movin forward....life is sometimes like climbing a hill...if u think goin up pressing at the accelerator...say its 60km/h now...but the higher u go....the steeper it is...n sooner or later that speed is not enough for u to ascend that fast anymore....worst still...u start goin down hill...cos u ran out of fuel...all the way to this abysmal...u cant break ur car....ur car runs wild...u disappear....into darkness...into nothingness......

Sometimes, u start off doing the wrong things anyway... u screwed up...u continue to do things in a nagative way...cos its even harder for someone to escape from vicious cycles...just when u thought u can break loose from them...the past comes back and haunt u again...how cruel...its like once a train goes off track,its hardly possible to get it back on track yea...worst still...it may tumble over...everyone in there injured or dies....

So whats, with this walkin thing?
Well sometimes in life we continually walk...we take different paths...literally u can say....I went to UK...or someone remains local....someone goes to somewhere physically away...or u can say its a decision....that one makes or chooses....sometimes u r like a traveller...an explorer navigating into the seas of unknown...one mistake may b fatal...one misfortune or natural disaster may just get u killed,amputated or scarred for life!And like an adventurous(or perhaps not so adventurous) u try to find the best way or the fastest way or watever it is that u r aiming for u travel n u need to make decisions on which path to take as each path leads to different paths....paths which sometimes may not even meet ever again...anyone who has read the poem "the road not taken" should clearly understood what I meant there...n juz like that sometimes u juz stop by along the journey of ur life,lookin back,reflecting on the past...reminscing memories of the past..what could hav happened "IF....IF....blah blah"...ppl also feel nostalgic of the past...especially good old times....fun times...happy moments....photos r good examples...cos MOST ppl usually take photos of them in their happiest moment...at the times where they look the best/handsome/pretty or watever...ppl hardly wan to take a photo showing them crying,falling etc....cos its painful when u think back rite?so why even bother to remind urself of the torture?

And as we walk through our lives and get older...we get more regrets as we've experienced more things and made more decisions.We have also matured and realised alot of realities in life,which are harsh.And one would wish that how good would it be if they were a kid again?Though we clearly know its impossible.

We all make mistakes in life, it depends on how we react after it...every sensible human,even a kid would know that they need to learn from their mistakes.It's just instinctive to make changes if things are not going in the right way of if u r not movin at all....then u better do something about it!It's instinctive but doing it is another thing.

Do u think u can nail down 3 pointers like Reggie Miller in cluth time?Well yea if u practice 500 3-pointers everyday...doesnt sound much...until u try it urself...ur muscles ache...u feel pain...its rinin outside...so u quit practising....n eventuallu u rivert to ur old self...n u might never ever climb up again...nor ever get to sink a shot during an actual game...nor would u even play any games after that...well u can also say...Miller retired...n 10 yers later i doubt he'll b as good..20 yers later wat can he do etc etc

Life is a journey,not a destination,but with stops in between, there's no goal, no end until u die perhaps?

It's the journey that matters,the experience that matters,what we've been through,who we are and who we were meant to be and who w really wanna be and how we truly hope to live our life?

Sometimes things are in our hands,sometimes its destiny...but also remember that u affect other ppl's life too.So do the right thing,for urself of course,but as much as possible think of others as well,not just those who u can c but also those u cant, and the future generations.

We are adults now!

Whoever we are...if we are sane...we might just walk and stop/pause ocasionally...looking back....n continue walking again...this journey of a lifetime...this journey called LIFE.

Another week flew by

2006-09-30T18:52:00.000+01:00

Yet another week flew by just like that!

To those people in Melbourne, that's the end of holiday for you!4 weeks into SWOT Vac yea...n then the year will end!Just how fast life is moving on?

Well, for me,it's the same old routine,going to the lab and clinics without doing much.The only difference was probably the social aspect.Start seeing and getting to know more people of the same origin and of different origins too.Playing basketball as usual,realising that all my efforts practising by myself was not in vain but was neither enough to do well, as one would expect.But things can only get better huh?Dunno.Wish I was just like those high school kids in the animes where I get to attend club practices every day after school.How tough but how good would my skills be then if I'd be able to persevere through it!

In a weeks time,I've managed to finish 2 seasons of Prince of Tennis Anime, but there's 5 more seasons to go...woahah....but its because Youtube is damn slow...loading a video sometimes takes up too much time than watching it...so troublesome...but its worth watching though!

My family will also be visitng me soon so i guess I'll be taking a short break real soon.We are actually going to Czech real soon so yay!Add 1 more country to my Eurotrip list!And there's more to come!Although previously, I'm ambitiously trying to cover as many country as possible but realy whats the point if you are not enjoying it?

If one tries to do too much, one would be diverting his already limited attention or concentration.Eventually we ar the ones causing our own downfall if we are too greedy.That's what I though through and I've decided not to push myself too hard.Well, this year is supposed to be a honeymoon year afterall.So I should try to get as much rest as possible while rediscovering myself and realising the essence of life and what exactly I need to focus more.
Thus, for teh time being,I'll not be touching badminton for a while.

I'm also going to start my Japanese class soon. Though it means more work for me but I guess its better than wasting time endlessly.I'll actually be startign from scratch since my current Jap knowledge is quite patchy and I've forgotten most of what Satomi sensei has taught me.So I guess strating to rebuild my foundation from scratch will make my basic stronger.80 hours of Jap class ahead in the next 6 months...this is gona be interesting!Hope it'll be good enough to survive in Japan if I really wanna go there next year!

Another week flew by, like the wind breeze blow past, you can't see it, but you can feel it......

Week 11 in summary halfway thru the semester

2006-09-24T01:14:00.000+01:00

1.11am in the morning,Sunday 24th of Sept 2006,still awake,in front of the com screen typing out watever random stuff I felt like typing again.Yes i know that alot of ppl actualy abuse their blogs expressing their anguish and frustrations and I myslef am no exception,haha, wat a world this is.

Well, today my intrnet suddenly went off in the afternoon and I practically had nothing to do, so I went to play basketball again for abt 2 hours...am still thinkin of which basketball club I should be joining....quite a hard decision if u ask me...should I even be joining it in the 1st place?

My fren reminded me,to try and concentrate and do 1 sport at a time, its very true of him.I reckon I'm a person whois very good at giving up ever since i was small.I've tried so many things b4 but I never master even a single one of them, namely, swimming, basketball, bowling, tennis, badminton, ping pong, calligraphy,art, guitar and so much more.And i always blame my parents for not givin me the chance to learn music instruments,if not my life now would hav been much better. That might be partially true due to my lack of talent and coordination even though I "suposedly should" have the genes but yea when u dun reach a certain level in a define time u sure get discouraged and here I am today still derectionless and still givin up so easily cos i dun think its fair for some if not most ppl who dvlp their skills so much more faster than I with the same amount of time,but yea,the world is not fair and it aint the 1st day that i know this fact but i still repeat my mistakes, i truly know there's only 1 way to stop this vicious cycle thats is only my sheer determination and nothing else but to get that determination is not easy.

Anyway,I think I'll be signing up for Jap classes in uni afterall.It'll b a 4 hour class per wk and hopefully that's a decent preparation for me to goto jap nex yer if all goes smooth.Initially goin to class is an issue bcos i really wanted to get a part time permanently....but seems taht most of my applications,enquiries and interviews din go as smooth as i planned...well at least the outcomes were negative...except becoming an exam invigilator which will take up my normal research hours so i decided that if i cant get the starbucks job i'll completely stop lookin for new jobs.I think it's better to use it to dvlp my basketball skills and spend more time on language...afterall i dun wan my ams yer to be too hectic.

This week, one of my fren in the lab turned 30.So wish her happy B'day!!!And thanks for the dinner.Speaking of which, it was one of the weirdest dinners i've ever had.Well, weird in a sense that i din feel very comfortable.Why?Cos i'm the only asian there,and apart from another fren's neice,i'm pretty sure the others were in the range of 25-35 of age. Also, there's like a Brazilian, 2 Czechslovakians (or watever u call them), 2 english (I beliv) and the others are all italianos.I felt so out of place and very hard to mix into the corwd though during the meal i somehow manage to talk to some of her frens since there was some common topics...but that requires them to hav some knowledge of asian culture and religions plus their willingness to listen to me speaking.But thru all this,i realised how lacking i am in terms of my social skills and knowledge.I guess the more u dun go out and talk to other ppl or get exposure the more u'll b left out and feel useless cos everyone is movin forward while u still stand there or merely walking.Sometimes i blame the environment(which is justifiable) but partly its bcos my myself.So I took the effort the nex day to talk to an Italian chic while walkin to the city and later talked to another american girl who was competing with me for a job position and even treated her bubble tea but haha deep down i know i'm gona loose the job opp bcos her n in fact i did....yes i did talk to them but i know that probably is the last time ever i'll ever even c them again...i wish i was better at expressing myself but i suppose there r juz things that u cant change...at least not easy.

To be honest,I dun really like weekends nowdays.It 's good to b able to get some rest but its boring as ever.Mayb its bcos i cant find the right person to connect to,to hang out with and to hav fun together.I really hate weekends,n nobody seems to understand that...perhaps yea like some guy said this b4...if one is able to survive thru solitude then one will gain the strength to bcome stronger huh...perhaps thats true but juz the process itself is killing u huh.I did a personality test n its really quite accurate...n the prob with me is bcos i lack the ability to finely express myself or charm thats why i'm juz an ordinary nice guy who can hav many frens but no soul mates.Yea and i'm glad that at least thur these yers in melb i was glad that i found a few of them who supprted me thru thick n thin.Domo arigato.

Leavin aus n comin to uk is my decision as i've sacrificed alot along the way and would probably hav sacrificed more if i din come,thats wat i tot. It's a yer of reflection and it made me realise alot of things that i long forgotten in the yers that hav passed by.Yes i am pathetic and if god exist ,he/she hasnt treated me that nicely all this while....but to me...it doesnt matter to me anymore...i'm juz tired n sick of it for the time being....cos whenever i found courage n reason...obstacles come n knock me down hard...as if they enjoy watching u fall n fall again...but yea life is not easy afterall...its a journey rite....there'sno destination...they r merely stops in between.

I dun expect anyone to comprehend wat i'm blabbing, in fact i dun expect anyone to read my blig these days since its been clouded by such -ve auras. But i'd juz like to say this to whoever it is, if u enjoy watchin me fall, if u r gona bring me down then giv it a try! Bring it on!
One day,eventually, i'll b regaining my composure and come bck,juz like how i used to be!

"That's why I'm here.I am everyone else ...too." (HNG ch 189)

Perhaps a bit different.

P.S.
For those lucky buggers in melb, happy hols,enjoy ur trip whever it may b or enjoy rotting at home.Man, 11wks down, 27 more to go huh.

A Walk to Remember!

2006-09-18T21:02:00.000+01:00

This is my 10th post!Hurray!

Anyway, I was supposed to write smth on this title a few weeks back when I still had the exact emotion to write it...it's a bit late but I'll write it anyway.

Basically I was bored so I was on a movie marathon for the weekend...watchin movies that I haven't watch while I was a teenager(btw,Mandy's my age)...so I guess I really missed out alot of stuff while I was in high school after my sister left...so here at last I'm watchin this movie.

What do I think abt it?Yes, life is FCUKed up...things dun go smooth...reality is harsh...n obviously it's hard to push thru and survive in the way u wan to live ur life.

In an ideal world,everyone wants a wonderful life, they want the love of their life,they want to b cherished,respected,attractive,talented,rich(for some ppl...i think no one minds to hav some extra money rite?)good lookin,smart...u name it ...u got it....but unfortunately an ideal world never existed...I supposed the most gifted person has things that he/she has to sturggle to obtain wat they wan....but sometimes juz bcos they r more gifted...they tend to ask for more cos they think they deserve it....for ppl who r lesser they might ask for less but they would still be "deprived" of certain things that they wan in life...Life is unfair afterall isnt it?SO is there really GOD in this world...this I can't answer u!

In a walk to remember,Mandy Moore plays a "Geeeky" gal whois supposedly quite gifted...well she performs academically...sings well (duh) and quite pretty if she actually dresses up properly instead of waering that aunty style sweater!

But u know wat,she has leukemia,which is cancer of the white blood cell when she's a teen and her mum's dead...treatment doesnt work for her anymore...but she still fights for her life...well as in she still lives a purposeful life helpin other ppl etc...worst of all...she was deeply in love knowing that she has a deadly disease.

Her bf who was a delinquent/but one of the cool guys around high school...u know they like to play this kinda popularity issue stuff in US high school...changed alot due to her influence...endured thur hardship for the betterment...knowing that his gf has a deadly disease is seriouslu heartbreaking but the only thing he could do is to make her wish come true, make her a miracle.Glancing in the air with shooting stars, he proposed and they got married even if it was only for a few months b4 she passed away.He loved her,she loved him as much too.

Miracles exist sometimes,but sometimes u create the miracles with ur bare hand.I always think that if there exist GOD and refuses to help u...u somehow gota help urself...this is wat i truly believe in ...but sometimes the environment n "fate" doesnt allow it!I mean it!They get in ur way.Giv u a good yet stupid example...half the time when i'm resolved to do some changes when I feel good..somehow I'll get stomach ache...bloody hell man!!!As if it's done o purpose!Like I deserved to b a loser all the time.Whenever I'm abt to improve somehow smth gona come block my way.Isit very fun to c me suffer?Isit so fun to watch other ppl's downfall.Yea mayb its juz to test ur strength n make u stronger but hey giv me some credit ok...its not fun to get rejected everytime...like whenever u try to shoot a ball,u get blocked shot by other players or mayb a foul call from the referee n therefore the basket that u scored was not counted,man it juz pisses ppl off u know!

Life is an endless road...sometimes with no goal...its a lifelong commitment and therefore the winners are ppl who are talented or ppl who persevere until the very end.Obviously the former is easier cos everythin is already given to them,like spoon feed.But even if u r the latter i think u need a goal to move forward to.Once upon a time I used to have that kind of quality and determination due to the motivation I posses.But times change and the world hasnt been exactly kind to me...or mayb its juz me givin up too easily.

In the last few days I was thinkin back the time in 1995/1996 the times where my alot of my memories reside, things that could be done and things that could have been better along the way...but life has its imperfction afterall.

I also believe that its better to start to have a new beggining from now to have the kinda ending that u wan...but sometimes its juz hard to do when u lack of support afterall one human soul aint strong enuf,thats why ppl cluster together, thats why ppl need to hav a motivation in mind,smth to focus on..a talent or skill to dvlp on or devotion or belief.And I guess for Mandy,religion was the thing that pushed her forward regardless of how gloomy her situation was.

I suppose in real life ppl like that actually exist too,and stories like that do exist...there r always nice ppl around though its so much less compared to crap ppl but thats juz how this world...obviously some of us never get to meet the nice ppl that we yearn to meet somewhere in this world n thats why there's so many shows outside,so many animes,novels portraying the ideal world which ppl look forward to but will never ever get in their life!

Do miracles exist in life?Yes they do but its very rare.And its even harder to create them with ur bare hands.And obviously u cant create any if u clearly know that u r not in the best condition to create that.

Everyday i picture myself walking down this endless road called life,hoping that I see a familiar shadow in front that motivates me to run forward, to run towards the goal, at least u hav smth to hope for.

In this game called life,only the best of the best wins.Sure u need luck to hit the buzzer beater or mayb the opponents havin a bad day...or u got skills go team chemistry....someones shooting is on fire etc...multiple factors.But clearly not everyone can be a winner.And even if u win the game...u might start to think...so wats next?

"Perfection is achieved not when there's nothing to add, but when there's nothing to be removed"How true is that?It's bcos u r partially ignoring some aspects which u could hav added,aint that rite?

Perfection is almost non existent in this world!!!

Man i guess I went off topic,haha dunno wat i'm talkin abt now,that probably explains the flow of my thoughts at the moment,HAYWIRE!!!

10 things to do before AMS ends

2006-09-06T23:30:00.000+01:00

Recently I've really been bothered and overwhelmed by the sheer amount of things that I have to do and accomplish. Well to be precise, it's doing things that I "force" myself to achieve at least by the end of AMS in May next year...seriously I'm lookin for trouble, ain't I?

1)RESEARCH-well, that's why I'm here in the 1st place n it'd b foolish if I dun concentrate on it.But there's so little that u can do in the initial stage and ppl often hav to rush to meet deadlines at the end...sadly thats juz how things work...wondering how things would b if i plan to end it early...n shit, i havent even had proper research methods training on statistics yet....dang!Hav to read up those biostats book by myself...this is bad...if i dun fix this soon...its really meaningless to read journals and do lit reviews cos i dunno wat the articles r talkin abt...oh man.....

2)PART TIME JOB-I'm really pissed off lately with this issue...although i hav a casual job as an interpreter,its too tiring since i spent half the time travellin to the hospital n in the end i get paid for only 1.5 hour...n sometimes i dun even get any shifts at all for the whole week...wat i earn in a month is probably wat other ppl earn in a wk plus it takes up my research time randomly,how inconvenient...wanted to look for smth in the weekend...stupid sushi shop accepted me n suddenly "release aeroplane"....stupid office work for not callin me up for interview yet...n starbucks, I'm still waitin for ur call n givin me the right shift!!!...n stupid Bar,for not acceptin honest ppl like me who doesn't hav much experience in operating cash machine...but at least I'm tellin u the truth ok?

3)MEDICINE-Well I had this plan of revising wat I hav learnt in the past 2.5 years in med school(stuff that i hav 4goten)but I only had the patience to read half a book on respiratory medicine...if i go with my initial plannin i should hav finish 3 modules by now...well some might say why bother study med again since u'll 4get it n u know it takes up alot of time...but honestly i dun wana feel stupid for not understanding n remembering the basics...i'll juz embarass myself in clinical school n in the clinics that i'm attending now every wk(when i can't answer wat the professor asks me abt)

4)TRAVEL-That's supposedly the main reason I came to UK, for FUN!!!But travellin is always tiring...but i've finishd 3 countries so there's at least 7-9 more to go...muz really arrange my time wisely...it's juz not nice to ask my prof for leave so often,geez....plus the seasons gettin cold now...not the best time to go travellin!Make it worse if i hav other commitment like part time job!

5)SPORTS-Well been trying reall hard to go play basketball everywk,but unlike u Kee Hong, I dun hav access to b'ball court right in front of me like in IH,its 5-10 min away, a childrens outdoor playgorund n its on tars....n its only open on wkdays n available to the public after 5.30pm plus they hav to lock it...the guy said i can climb in n play in wkends since its not open but apparently there was an arson on one of the sundays which they burn down the building...hmmm guess i dun really wana climb the wall n get caught...also its really hard to keep up with the 3 pool games/per day...when I get busy i juz get lazyyyyy

6)LANGUAGE-Well, been tryin desperately to learn jap in the last 2 yers for no reason...for the sake of watchin anime n readin manga understanding jap songs etc. also in preparaion for my jap visit,hopefully sometime b4 i graduate,r those reasons good enuf?i duno cos u know u need lotsa effort to properly learn a language n maintain it,if not it'd go to waste....also it would not only compromise my travel timing since there's class every wk but also there r final exam etc...geez...should I?n for wat?

7)FOCUS-Hmm this should really b at the top of the list...anyways realise the reason i've been performin poorly these yers due to my lack of concentration...i get easily distracted ....day dream in class....sleep in the clinics n lectures....take 3 hours to read a freakin article....man i should really find a way to regain my concentratio but how?

8)RELIGION-well thats sorta answers part of the question above...was considering if meditation would help me do better,like calmin my mind etc. i'm lazy bum who claims to b a half buddhist n half free thinker so i find it so difficult to convince myself to goto temple here...well even when i get there i din really do much...there wasnt much to do anyway, i think

9)ENTERTAINMENT-well wanted to watch musicals/theatres but trying to look for ppl who wana watch n plannin on wat to watch...cos it aint cheap...also...wana finish heaps to tv series...there's juz too many in the list...HOUSE,Gray's anatomy,prison break,OC,one tree hill etc...n of course my wkly dying crave for BLEACH n NARUTO manga....

10)SOCIAL-well this has been quite a prob really considering that in the last 2 months it was summer hols n the residence halls is practically empty apart from a few "old" research students(except me)...well hope things get better since more n more ppl r comin back but really the UK halls hav less frenlu environment compared to Aus...i mean everythin is so segragated unless u really put in lotsa effort,no guarantee that it would help but yea at least u try...geez...been tryin to extend social network n try to find ppl who wana play basketball together etc etc. guess it's not so easy huh since most ppl here r in their 4th of 5th yer at least...its juz like the situation in IH where the seniors dun exactly need to know freshers since they already hav their own click anyway...

Hmmmm seeem like there r juz too many agendas ahead....man i sure hope things settle down real soon...sun wana walk around for 3 hours lookin for job again or wait for 2 wks for ppl to caall u up for interview...its so hard to focus n do things cos everythin is so uncertain...its even harder when i'm not exactly in the best mental state to fully focus on wat i need to do...everythin is too scattered...plus i'm the kinda person who gives up easily...well at least in my current state...sighz ...wat to do...

Eurotrip: 2nd stop: Belgium (Brussels & Antwerp) ; 3rd Stop: Netherlands (Amsterdam & Rotterdam)

2006-08-31T21:12:00.000+01:00

Paid 10 Euro to get a visit and 3 Heineken fresh from the tab huh...quite good!

Bridge in Rotterdam (dunno the name)

Cubic Houses in Rotterdam.

Red Light District in Amsterdam (and NO I did NOT try!!!)

Wohohoh, so many chocs yummy...n yes I ate em and my throat soars a bit now!

2 months into UK, the gateway to Europe, and traversing unknown terrains,places where I used to yearn to go, observe its cultures, learn from the ppl, broaden my horizons, an experience of a lifetime!....gets abit boring sometimes really and tiring.....zzzzz.......

In honesty, this is by far the most HAPPENING trip, u know why?
1st off, after the UK terror alert abt 2 wks ago, airport security check was really tight....n they make u take off shoes etc etc....so mafan....then we happily fly to our destination....n when one of my travel mates was being questioned by the immigration officer (cos they think he might b a terrorist????hmmmmm) No, not really....the main prob is we were supposed to b there for the weekends n fly back on the 28 AUG but somehow my fren booked the wrong month!!! 28 of Sept instead...so when he told the immigration officer that he'd b in Belgium for only the weekend really sounds fishy.....hmmmm.....

Then yea we proceeded to luggage collection....due to terror alert again...everyone was forced to check in their luggages in London...so we hav to wait for the luggages to come out...we waited...n waited....n waited....n waited...n waited.....crap......another fren's luggage was missing.....apparently 20,000 luggages were held back in London....security reasons again?sighz.....wat a waste of time.....so we had to go settle for lugggage missing report n also to change our flight dates

But those bummers from the airlines would actually charge u like hell if u change the tix at the counter n a 30 pound penalty for changing tix.....as if i'm dumb enuf to pay them for the stupid penalty charge....i mean come on...buyin a new tix is evn cheaper lar.......heh.....airlines these days r hopeless......

Ok back to the actual trip...Belgium I guess is mostly abt chocolate as most of u will know....n yes of course i eat them n that is why i am suffering from soar throat now....from ice cream,drinks,pancake to a gazallion thingys...its all filled with chocolate n they really tatse good leh.....n oh apparently the Belgians cook some of their dishes with BEER as te sauce?hmmm....

So much for the food.....we went to Amsterdam...wohooo...party city....n NO i did NOT try any of those stuff in the Red Light Distrcit!!!!U c the chics( erm not really...some r quite...not so nice to c) n half-chics (u know wat i mean rite?the fake ones)....but the Green Light District....hmmm... Brownies actually taste pretty good....I mean the muffin itself n not the drugs!

Geez,this trip is really tiring and on the last day I hav almost nothin left in my wallet....and I only manage to get anythin down my stomach at abt 2300.....n b4 that i only had breakky at 10...geez starved like hell.....oh btw ....I had diarrhoea on my 1st day...dunno why....seems like everyone was havin some bad luck on the 1st day....n yes we got the luggage back n we bought new tix to fly back to UK....no one is so dumb to pay the penalty to change date lar...if the airlines insist to earn money like that then i can tell them...that they r not much better than no frills airlines with all the delays n errors that happen

Anyway,I only posted a few pics not that interesting really...cos most of da pics r with another guy but yea guess that'll do for now....ah....3 down....n haps more to go....man feel a bit sick now...wana rest...zzzz.........zzzz.....

The sakabatō

2006-08-20T13:52:00.000+01:00

The sakabatō , a special weapon used by the Hiten-Mitsurugi-Ryu master, Himura Kenshin, a.k.a Rurouni Kenshin or the Former Hitokiri Battousai . Unlike a normal japanese katana, the sakabatō has its sharp cutting edge curved inwards while the blunt edge is out. So basically he attacks with the blunt edge an not the sharp one. This forms part of his vows to not kill anyone ever again.

One might judge the uselessness of a reverse edge sword bcos u cant really cut anythin. But it is also true that if u posses real strength u can cut through anything. It is the heart that counts, it is the spirit of ur fight (ken-ki) that counts,it is the feeling that u put into the sword that counts. It is these intense feelings and emotions that u entrust u sword with brings u great strength. The will to believe and still think of the next step although beaten, the will to believe in urself will become the strength to overcome fate. If u dun believe in anythin, u might as well dun do anythin at all.

Everyone has their own potential, regardless of how limited it is. Thus, not everyone who wields the same sword posses the same level of power. It depends on how much talent one has & how much one puts in effort and heart in practising. But if u juz stand there and do nothing at all, ur level of skills would not juz b stagnant but also dropping. It is often bcos of this that many ppl struggle against the flow of life...to work hard...to improve...juz for that specific magical moment...watever that is...to hit a buzzer beater or score a golden goal when the clock winds down...all for the second of glory and fame...where history witnesses ur seccess...temporarily...

The sakabatō is not juz a mere fighting tool, but also a tool that has been entrusted to fight for the sake of humans (well, at least in the story). It is not meant to kill, but to protect the happiness of people who need help, whom u can c as well. Afterall, we ain't God nor a saint, but juz a mere human being like anyone else. That's why, even as strong as this sword is, it still needs a sheath, to make it complete. The sheath is a cover for the sword.Something that protects it, from the wind,dust,rain,snow etc etc. Cos no matter how strong a sword is, its a metal and it can slowly corrode and waste away if not proper care or attention is given. Even the mightiest of all swords can't defeat that.That's why every sword needs a sheath.

In his hands holds one of the strongest sword, cutting thru countless enemies without killing them to atone for his sins.To protect the happiness of ppl whom he can see in this new ere.And regardless of how cold the weather might be outside, he'll continue fighting,no matter how hard it is.For wats sake one might ask...perhaps to protect the his happiness and the ppl who r dear to him...or mayb it's this:

John Steinbeck once wrote, ‘It seems to me that if you or I must choose between two courses of thought or action, we should remember our dying and try so to live that our death brings no pleasure on the world.’

And I suppose it makes perfect sense...while not juz our death is unbearable, seeing some other ppl suffering and die is also unbearable too.

So, if this sakabatō of mine can protect the happiness of other ppl, the wielder should try his best to cut open a road and breakaway...for the sake of the people...if one that wields the strength understands the pain of loss and sorrow...one should hav good reasons to try to protect the happiness of others who r drowining in this world filled with endless cycles of suffering and chaos.

Sometimes its really pointless struggling to fight through, fighting endless battles and find urself severely wounded and exhausted. But no matter how tiring it is, if u dun move on, u can never find the sheath u r lookin for, if u juz stay and stand there 4ever...saying that i'll start fighting after I find the sheath...then I'll start my journey.

Life is a process of search and discovery...pretty much like mavigating in the seemingly endless ocean with sharks,waves and thunderstorms awaiting for u...even if u c a land from afar...it is no guarantee that the inhabitants and natives would b frenly or hostile towards u...but until u reach a land where u find wat u wan...u pretty much hav no choice but to move on...

Today,I'll wield this sakabatō of mine in search for the answer and for the sheath I'm looking for...and cut through any obstructions and hindrance along the way...to clear a path that leads to light...

For every journey is a beginning and not an end

For today is the beginning of always...

When the going gets tough......

2006-08-11T15:18:00.000+01:00

When the going gets tough......it usually gets worse...and it feels as of u r getting cursed...but one thing is for sure...make sure u urself dun make it worse!

Life is always full of adversity adn challenges.Every single day we struggle to survive, we try our best to overcome the adversities and more often than not we cope fairly with it while others rise to the top.That's how we define those as success or failure...winners or losers.But life is certainly not always fair as different people posses different capabilites and potential. Of course the encounters and experiences differs between different individuals.On top of that, the way a person copes with a problem varies too, depending on the past experience and exposure of the person, whether it's restricted to the surroundings or as broad as the world.Because these are the few important factors that would determine the resources or attitude which one would use to face the situation.

When u think of those super heroes in those comics like Superman or in manga/anime like Naruto or Dragon Ball....it's usually very unrealisitic. Although these ppl were put in dire situations, they somehow manage to overcome it with some humongous and indredible strength...n u'll go like...wat the hell??!?! Where did he get all that strength from?

I'm not a big fan of Spiderman but I think it is far more realistic. For once, a hero is depicted as someone who is kinda poor (unlike our Batman), not an alien (where u hav some genetically more superior trait than our humble humans). Yes, spiderman's power is so much more limited compared to the rest. They always say in the show, with great powers comes great responsibility. And np matter how harsh the situation is he'd still have to try his utmost best to fight watever enemies he's facing...be it some monster,his best fren or even he himself (go watch Spiderman 3 when it comes out this yer). Things are never easy, and no matter what critical situation u r facing....no matter how much support u r lacking... u still need to do it.But for what sake?Afterall, u r juz a mere human.

There are times in life when u hav to stand up by urself when u fall down.U might try to climb up and realise that u've juz made urself roll down the staircase.Big deal and u start crying and whining that why GOD won't make life easier for u?Isit bcos there's no GOD in this world or bcos GOD gave this task to test u.That I dunno, and I suppose no one would hav a DEFINITE answer to that.But 1 thing is for sure, if u dun help urself no one will b able to help u...if u dun love urself no one would luv u...if u dun beliv in urself no one would beliv in u......but it is also true that when the going gets tough n one still continues to go down hill...it really pisses ppl off...it ripps them of their hopes and shadows them in the darkness. Ppl lost faith in this world and get stuck in eternal darkness.

There are times in life where u need to learn how to stand up once again, even if no one is giving u a helping hand, no one is there to pull u up...to giv u a lolly pop if u r crying from the pain due to the fall.Sometimes u juz gota pick urself up n start walking once again.Hopefully,someday somewhere,somehow u'll find ur way out again.One day u'll reach the path when the sun shines gently upon u n the wind breezes upon ur face.And if that never happens, then I really dunno how to answer u...cos it does happen sometimes but I suppose if u can read this blog u should b at least so much more well off compared to alot ppl who dun even hav internet access or r still probably starving in poverty.

A tarnslated line from the song from the series reads:

"Why does the past destroy even the wornout heart that shines...melancholically fleeting thoughts on this tragedy night"

Sometimes I believe that there r times in our life when seriously shit ass happens on us...to the extent where we can never 4get about it...it's when it's so painful that one starts to regret things that they did in the past and start saying "I wish I had/hadn't done this or that"...or "when I think of the past It feels like I wana stay here forever" (Hatake Kakashi, Naruto Eps 80)

But really wats the whole point of residing in the past...u start wondering...why r u alive???

Why is life so difficult?What is wrong with me?What the hell am I doin?Why?Why?

But I do know that at present when the going gets tough make sure u dun make it any worse for urself, dun torture urself with unnecessary negative thoughts that would even kill ur life....at least the quality of it...whether u r goin to heaven or hell or whether u hav an afterlife doesn't really matter at all really bcos there's 1 thing u know for sure...that is...

YOU ARE ALIVE NOW AT THIS VERY MOMENT...SO LIVE THE BEST OUT OF IT AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE...IT'S NOW OR NEVER!!!

No Pain no gain

And

No regrets in life

The journey continues......

Eurotrip: 1st stop: Ireland (Dublin)

2006-08-09T23:11:00.000+01:00

Poser in front of Trinity College Dublin

Keats & I standing at xxxxxx river??

Kevin & I Acting Cute in Christchurch

Destination Europe here I come!!!

Honestly, I got bored with London after a while...things r quite repetitive and routined and I've pretty much been to most of the "touristy" attractions in good old London so even it's only been a month since I got here, I think it's not really too early to start travelling.

I was really looking forward to this trip bcos I'll be meeting 2 of my high school frens from Penang whom I havent seen them for at least 2 yers! My fren Kevin from Edinburgh flew to meet me and Keats (the guy who stays in Dublin)....by the time we met each other in the airport its already 12am midnite.....phew thats wat u get for taking cheap airlines!

Well Ireland is juzzz alrite really...the most distinctive landmark they have there is smth called Spire...juz like bar/tiang(malay) in the middle of the city ....its really nothin great...n wat else...hmm they hav smth called "Luas" which is like trams in Melb...n the word is pronounced as "Loo Wee" ok? Dun pronounce in malay n no it doesn't mean "surface area"!!!!

Of course the most important and distinctive thing in Ireland is ALCOHOL...if u r in Melb n u havent heard of St Patrick's day then mayb u should ....hmmm...get out of ur room n go out more ofen?? Anyway, Ireland is juz famous for its alcohol/pub culture...its really crazy..the nly thing that they do is Drink Drink n more Drink....the hang out places r all pubs clubs etc etc....u can even order Irish coffee(which contains alcohol duh!) in the bars but NOT the cafes! Of course, Guinness is an Irish company.We visited the storehouse n its really awesome....we even got a pint of Guinness Draught each...ermmm but we had to pay for the entrance fee eheheh.

Well Irelands like that...nothing spectacular really though there were some festivals goin on but they aint that great.

But the best par of the trip is definitely being able to spend time with frens whom I haven't seen for ages n its really nice to b able to chat with them n also realise how time realy flies n how each of us hav changed in our respective ways....there's 1 thing in common....we all hav pretty good/nice/decent sense of fashion....well juz in case u disagree with wat I said....

Well, this is the 1st but defnitely not the last stop! Whats the next stop?Hmmm back to work tomorrow!!!

Welcome to the Real World - Part 1

2006-08-03T22:28:00.000+01:00

So much for the simplicity last weekend...this week is really hectic...so many stuff to do...but it also reminds me of how the real world works

As a student, we r constantly indulge in our comfort zone...thus ignoring & ignorant of the things that happen outside our zone of presence...so if the things dun concern me... i dun think i'll know abt it...u'll probably say:"like I giv a damn to smth that does not concern me"...or "u think I'm very free izit??"

Honestly, if u r still in uni, u r probably unaware of alot of things...ignorant that is...well even if we r aware of the existnce of certain things...if w dun experience them ourselves we won't know exactly how its like....

Well today was really a killer day...had to wake up early in the morning n attend a last minute scheduled part time work...doin some translation thing in hospitals for patients...well 1st time doin smth like that sure is scary...once i walk into the wards...I c how its like in this community....though I've been doin med for the last 2.5 yers...I guess I haven't seen places that are severely in need of help...not to mention how things r much worst in places where poverty r much more prevalent...juz imagine how horrible things would look....well back to my translation thing...it reminds me of things like legal responsibility...it reminds u of how important ur job is...if u r careless in wat u say or do...who knows wat kinda trouble u'll get into...dun play a fool with LAW!!!U juz cant afford to b careless even for a while...u might kill urself!

Life is definitely not as simple as u think it would b...thats why the older u get the more u wana shout out loud :"I wish I was a kid again!".....Well,everybody wants to b a baby...free of worries and being taken care of!

Oh btw, there will b more of the "Welcome to the Real World" series comin up...whenever I encounter smth REALISTIC as an ADULT in this society and world we live in.

Simple Life

2006-07-30T17:35:00.000+01:00

Life has been very routined this week, the same old wake up and go to work routine has been quite repetitive and clinic sessions are staring to get abit boring...gosh...almost fell asleep in one....there was also this afternoon when it was so dang hot that I have to study in Starbucks...but it was nice...oh did i tell u guys this?...in London u can c starbucks almost everywhere...in some places...there might be 3 on the same street...juz walk 50 steps n u'll reach the nex one...i bet there's at least 100 shops in london alone!!!

Anyway, was supposed to start training this weekend for my potential part time job in a jap restaurant but the chef din call me...so I decided to goto Greenwich. It takes about 40 mins to get there from where I live and Greenwich is really very peaceful n nice place to spend a day in.You can stand at the pier enjoying the refershing sea breeze...erm i mean RIVER breeze....n u can goto the Greenwich park, watch the people around you havin fun....climb up a small hilly slope and u'r at the Royal Observatory...thats where the Prime Meridein time thingy starts!...It's nothin that great really-_-;;

It's nothin really taht special but sometimes it's juz nice to leave the bustling hectic city centre and go out somewhere, take a deep breath of a refresing air and let the wind blow upon your face.It is indeed very sotthing and relaxing. Simplicity in life is the best...at times ^_^

2006-07-24T22:56:00.000+01:00

AEIOU

Aimless- Why am I alive...Not knowing who I am, who I was nor who I really wanna be...what I wan in life and things I look forward too...it is sad to be in this motivationless state where u know a strong will and motivation is exactly what I need to make a difference in this world

Emptiness- How sad it is to not to feel anythin at all....its one of the most painful thing in life but dunno why...I'm still emotionless....juz like an empty trash can along the road...it's as if...nothing matters anymore in my life....I know that's not true...but I seriously feel nothin now....u call that NUMB...I dunno wat makes me happy anymore....even clubbing nor travelling....doin those stuff juz makes me feel normal....like any other day

Isolated- From this world...almost completely...this society that is still quite ALIEN to me...it feels that I dun really belong here....it felt as if I was back to square one...like how things used to be when I was in Trinity...being alone in my room ...doin watever stuff I'm doin...in this foreign place...so hot (the weather)...yet so cold (inside)....

Overwhelming- With the workload? Not really ....but overwhlemed with what's expected of myself...AMS deadlines and supervisor expectations r things that will come eventually...but its supposed to b relaxin now...yet I still try to push myself to get smth out of this yer...be it my target to finish touring a dozen Euro countries...revising & strengthening my medical knowledge that I haven't properly learnt in the last 2 years....and trying to do partime jobs in weekends for watever reason....I juz feel that somehow I gotta get smth out of this yer....it's an experience of a lifetime afterall

Uncertainty- With wats goin on around me...its partially out of control...things juz happen npass by...but all I can do is juz to stare blank;y n dumbly like a donkey...mouth agape...I seriously dunno anything anymore...watever it is that I am doing....everynite is juz watchin One Tree Hill or playin pool....then wake up wonderin wats gonna happen today...for watever it is..it doesn't matter really....cos nothin interest me anymore...I dun feel anythin at all...n I duuno why...I am juz like a ZOMBIE

2006-07-14T13:03:00.000+01:00

The Journey Begins

It's almost 10 days since I have arrived in the UK for the very 1st time in my life.Time really flies and I can't believe that I've alreadt finished my Pre-clinical semesters in Medicine a month ago.All this while,for thoso who know me very well, you know that it's always been my dream to go overseas for AMS and now that I'm finally there,I honestly dunno what exactly to do.No, it's not exactly a crossroad thatI'm facing...it's an unknown territory...welcome to the real world!

Well just going back to my supershort 3 weeks holiday in Penang...it was crap...really...it's not exactly the worst...but it kinda feels like a curse...I call it the "Cursed Tuesday"

1st Tuesday(13/06/06)-My guitar was broken during my flight from Melb to PG....I was on SIA/SQ...n shit they refuse to compensate....not even a single cent!

2nd Tuesday(20/06/06)-Decided to go out after a boring weekend at home...guess what...just when I was less than 500m away from the shopping complex....a stupid transportation truck crashed into me...claiming that he din c me wor...jack ass....then I hav to deal with the stupid police reporting n insurance claiming blah blah blah....both of which pissed me off real bad...spoilt my holiday mood really!

3rd Tuesday(27/06/06)-Well well...I was really prayin hard that nothing bad happens...but I know for sure that the result of my clinical school's gona come out today...n watever Hospital I get allocated today...it would sorta be where I'll be spending most of my time in when I get back from UK to complete my Med degree....guess what...I got allocated to my LAST choice....this is bullshit man...what kinda luck is that...though I admit my results aren't that great...but man...givin u ur last choice makes u "beh syok" only...btw its a hokkien!

Oh and apart from those cursed events on Tuesday...I also had allergic conjunctivitis during my 2nd week back home...dunno why...guess I rubbed my eyes too much...that's why I hate gin abck home....it's too dusty ...too easy to get allergies...ah chooo!

Then off I went to UK...arrived at Heathrow airport in London in the evening...took a tube and change stations a few times until I got to my cousin's fren's home...with my 48kg worth of luggages...n guess what ...there's no lift ...and I hav to carry my stupid luggages by raw power....argg..back ache!

Then the next day...shifted again to the hall of residence where I'm supposed to stay in permanently...so have to shift the 48kgs again...damn....and guess what...the lady in charge of the hall said :"u'll hav to move again at the end of this month cozzzz someones still stayin in ur room....so take another room 1st n shift again later." But fortunately this time there's a lift n its only one floor up...and not like 10 tube stations away!

Oh and also when I travelled around London...I got lost a few times...spent 2 hours lookin for a grocery shop but din find it..ended up in some tourist ayttraction that I've already been to.....oh one more....I was pulled in by a street performer together with 3 other ppl (from Manchester,LA & Germany) to do some stupid cheap ass dancing on the street with some stupid acts as well...blek! -_-;;

Oh well, I guess life in a new country isn't easy at hall...once u get out of ur comfort zone...u sometimes feel very very out of control,nervous,anxious,lost......etc etc....but no matter how it is....there ain't no turnin back....n no this is not teh beginning of the end....but rather this just the end of a new beginning.

It's about time to stand up once again & time to start afresh...a journey of a lifetime...

This is the start of the path of a Rurouni......Aza Aza Fighting! (wat the??!?!?)