People ask me,why u'd go there when its so cold.Well,the reason I gave them was that I wanted to have a white Christmas.To witness the mighty Fjords covered with snow,the phenoenal Aurora Borealis, visit the Ice hotel,being NAKED in a public pool and many more excitements that awaits!Wahah, can't wait to get there.Well,that's if all go according to planning,fingers crossed.
Oh and for u guys who dunno wat Aurora Borealis is,have a look:
This semester has been long and it's not finished yet!!Man,how many weeks has it been since I left Melbourne??Though there's no exam this semester and I kinda can "ponteng" occasionally to go for trips or just simply resting at home, this semester feels like forever.......From Early July till now,man this is surely the unbeatable longest semester ever.
I really feel tired all this while.Life has not been that enjoyable after I turned 21st,though I was hoping that it'd be the time of my life,but everything just seems to be going down hill.Was I expecting too much or was I simply overdepressed?I really dunno.At times I feel good and I was the one encouraging people.But at times I just feel like shitzz.I guess it's not fun when u come to a place not knowing enuf ppl or not knowing ppl well enuf.And coming to a place where everything is so unfamiliar,it sure feels weird but then slowly u break down the barriers and that's about time u leave this country.That's the feeling I get.There are too many things to do here in London cos its the capital of a nation, and the gateway to Europe.There should be alot of fun things to do.But I guess the saddest part about this is there's no one here for me to share those great things with.Somehow,even if I' doing something interesting, I don't enjoy them anymore.It feels more like I'm doing it for the sake of doing it.Guh...how boring......zzzzzzz
Gotta rest gotta recover,that's what I told myself.Cos if I dun recover by next year...I'm gona screw up in clinical school and that's surely gonna destroy my medical career.So by all means I need to recover for sure this time.
Motivation motivation....something which I possessed in the past is now no longer with me.Been desperately trying to find it but in vain.Lady Luck has also Abandoned me along with many others...this is really going no where.
Then was watching J-drama the other day."1 Litre of Tears"
Pretty huh?Well it's a show after all.
There are some similarities to "A Walk to Remember" but alot different.It's an actual story of a girl who has a severe neurological disorder at the Best time of her Life, High School.A time when one shines radiantly, illuminating their light , shining their presence to the people surrounding them.Undoubtedly the pinnacle of ones life.
I didn't really cry for the show juz bcos I'm a medic and I'm kinda used to this sorta stuff.But if u think it from ur own perspective,it'll b different.Come on,I'm even complaining like an uncle even if I'm just coughing or getting minor injuries from a game or simply getting frustrated or depressed over small failures in life.
I guess I really deserve to continue getting those failures with my current attitude.I don't know how to appreciate simple stuffs.Being alive is perhaps the most wonderful thing for a human.Why are we so greedy and force to get more out of life.We should take things step by step.Why do always yearn for smth more and not appreciating things that have been lost?Even simple things like being able to run...u wont realize thats a precious thing until u injure urself and can't run anymore.Isn't that right?
I'm not sure how my future lies,but who I am today is merely what I've done prior this,and no more than that.You are your lifes own architect,thats what one of my fren believed.
As for Lady luck...Being Lucky also means that being able to create that luck,that oppurtunity for urself....that's called truly lucky.
Been trying to get a grip of myself once again and for eternity.I hope one day I can find the self that I've been looking so hard for.
I guess it's ok to fall as long as I climb back again,afterall I still have the ability and strength to do that.
Right now,the only thing to do is to start...to start appreciating little things in life that I have...start trying abit harder in whatever I do without rushing for results,taking things step by step...start keeping my head up and walk forward instead of looking n the ground.
I am but only human.That's all I am, and that's all I'll be,at least for this life.
May there be a day where the sun shines brightly in the azure blue sky.May there be a day when everyone finds their happiness.Because only darkness can show us a stronger light and we sunlight is always at its best after a rain.Just like after winter,there's Spring!
P.S.
I'd like to apologize for misusing my blog all this while to vent my angers and frustrations. I'd also like to thank those who have given me words of wisdoms and courage all this while.May the misery be buried deep in the ground and never surface again.I'll be on holiday soon, so this blog will go into Deep sleep mode until "Spring " comes!Wish u a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year everyone!
