Thursday, August 09, 2007

What it means to do medicine

1st of all, apologies for the lack of updates in my blog since life has been rather busy. So I’ve decided to give you a glimpse into a medical student’s life today.

Clinical school, which is the intimidating phase of medical life has just begun. Cos what you do from here onwards, you know very well is going to change your life forever. Everything starts right here, right now.

Waking up at 7 am in the morning (if not earlier) is not too bad a thing to do since it’s what our body meant to do anyway, but it’s certainly something that I’m not used too since I’ve been a nocturnal animal for ages. But guess what, doctors in the USA actually have to wake up and run ward rounds at around 6am. And in Harvard, I think they do it around 5am. Crazy huh? And guess what. They’ll wake the patients up too. Hah, what a pity. But that’s just how life works. Lots of on calls and overnight shifts. So I suppose waking up early as student is not that bad. But considering that sometimes we get posted to suburbs like Footscray, and sometimes in rural, you basically have to wake up even earlier to make up for the traveling time. Fortunately my buddy has a car, so it’s not as bad. But just imagine spending hours catching public transport. It’s just tiring.

I guess the good thing to be in clinicals. Why? Cos u’r finally free from those boring lectures. Those endless hours or torture when the lecturer is so crap that you dun understand a single shit he/she’s talking about. Those endless hours when you fall asleep in those comfy/crappy lecture theater seats, even if u drink coffee.

Seeing patient is different. You actually learn better, simply because you have something solid to see. So when you talk about a certain disease, the image of that patients pops up in ur mind and not page 112 on the textbook that talks about heart attack for instance. Like they say, “Patients are the best teachers.” Although I have to really emphasize that seeing patient can be controversial at times. Sometimes, some patients make you feel that you’ve learnt a lot out of them. When you c someone finally recovering and getting better, it is very satisfying indeed. But there will also be days when you’ll feel dejected especially when you see someone dying and worse still you lack the strength to do anything for them or if you made a mistake that compromised their condition. There are even times that you might even feel disgusted with some patients. I’m not trying to b rude here. But rather, I’m trying to explain to you that hospital is no fun place to be in. Surely seeing someone getting better is a very rewarding feeling, but a hospital is a place when people are ill, some terminally ill, so weak and feeble that they have reached their most vulnerable point, their very worse sight that you don’t usually see in public. That’s what you deal with in medicine. It may be gross sometimes spending time in a ward smelling pukes, examining someone’s pooh and urine. It’s unpleasant, but someone has to do the dirty job.

Also, medicine is a lot about responsibility. Patients trust you most of the time. Like they say in Grey’s Anatomy, “They made it hard on purpose; there are lives in our hands.” Gone were the days when the only reason you study is for exam. It’s still true to a certain extent as medics we still have exams but think about it. You gotta know your stuff if not you won’t be able to work properly. Like I said, there r lives in ur hands. There’s no space for you to fool around. I suppose that’s why people get so pumped up with clinicals. Afterall it’s the actual medicine we r seeing, it’s the actual surgery where you see people getting cut up, right here right now with our own bare eye. But having said that, sometimes its frustrating that there’s just so much to learn and that you can’t finish learning them. There’s just a lot of pressure, especially when you are unable to answer questions in the ward by the consultants in front of the patients. Everyone is staring at you, makes you feel weird and anxious. Get the wrong answer and that makes you feel dumb cos you suck!

Medicine is a very exhaustive process, not just the life-long learning part but also the hectic schedule. You pretty much compromise every other aspects of your life. And things would only go down hill once you start working. Trust me, it only gets worse, though the good news is you finally get paid. And like how our guest speaker during the IH winter dinner said, “Medical students and doctors have no life.”….Arrrg…damn….

Sometimes, I wonder if I’ve done the right course or not. I really don’t know. When I entered uni, my preferences were Medicine, Dentistry and Pharmacy. But if I get to choose again, maybe I’d opt for something more simple such as Pharm. Just because there’s less responsibility or legal liability, shorter course, more business based. Well at the very least, I don’t have to smell shit in the shop.

Life in medicine has just started and once you’re in it, you just have to keep walking keep walking no matter how hard it is. At least that was what I’ve promised myself deep inside.